( Disclaimer; These are through my experiences,
Not invalidating any other experiences,
So please don’t expect me to repaint my experiences,
Because of yours…)
Mutual is Mirrored;
I want to Thank all the Men,
Of my life now,
Of my life before here.
Each of you truly influenced,
Contributed to who I am now.
Your light brought me to caves,
Where having not traveled into,
I wouldn’t be who I am now.
The many spirals,
The many scars I placed blame on your shoulders for,
The fault finding, score keeping I blamed
You guys with, placing my trauma,
My abusive upbringing.
In a victim mentality, you had no part in,
Filtering how I saw you,
How I treated you.
How badly I expected all that attention,
Possession, unspoken expectations,
Wanting and yearning to belong
To everyone but myself.
I am so Thankful for each of you,
And though we hit many dead-ends,
You still tried to make it work,
No matter how heavily I tried to blame you,
For my own issues, insecurities, nonacceptance.
You tried so hard to utilize resources to help me,
Or hurt me as to tame your issues that my issues
Triggered.. Thank you
Though some of you were so heavily addicted,
To sex, drugs, work, narcissism, abusive,
Alcoholics, rapists, some being
People I dated, hung around,
Or I was born into sexual destruction,
I am Grateful for all that pain,
Paved, carved, scarred me,
Scarred you too, yet here I am,
There you are, doing better,
Because We chose to grow,
Get better, or stay the same but put hundreds of miles between us,
Pulling our resources
Of intuition, found ways to illuminate
Caves, paths, dead-ends, brick walls,
Something within us,
To learn, to expose,
To reveal, to heal.
Most of the shit I blamed you for,
Was because I listened to others,
And carried out unknowingly
But I admit I did this to you.
I let others dictate to me,
how to see and treat you,
As to mirror your bad deeds,
by what society & status quo lives to label, judge,
Strike fearful propaganda upon us,
We get so easily wrapped up and
Forget to think for ourselves….
Women are superior crock of shit,
We are equals,
Because we are Humans…
Thank you for all those experiences,
Even the totally crappy ones,!
Takes two to tango,
Sometimes one sided,
But I can and will always
Be responsible for what I think,
Say, do, believe and repeat.
I want to Thank you,
Each and every experience,
Has illuminated my life and world,
So much, because I choose to
Move forward with love, with forgiveness,
With the knowing that not all humans
Are bad, unkind, cruel, abusive, P.O.S’s!
I realized, only dwelling on those types,
Keeps the blinking sign on my head to attract those types,
The change had to be made by me,
Because I chose to dump, numb, ignore,
I know better now..
You know better now,
We all each in our own ways,
Love better now,
Care better now,
Still learning better...
I am so grateful for all the awesome,
Soulful, Men I have met since,
Because I chose to heal me,
Protect and honor my body,
Heart, Mind and soul and give that same
Powerful juice to them too,
Just as unconditional as I gave to myself,
There are plenty of men in this world,
That have shitty women in their lives,
I know, because I used to be one,
I repeated what I saw, felt and learned
Was okay, learned it most definitely wasn't..
Love more often,
Lean in more often,
Appreciate the Good, Nice, Soft hearted,
Respectful and straightforward honest, men out there.
Don’t give into history,
Judging based on someone else’s experience,
Or the speculated bullshitery,
Serves nothing but sh*t to both people…
Do everyone including yourself
When you love yourself,
When you accept yourself,
When you heal yourself,
All as you go...
Bit by bit, investing into yourself,
Then looking back through
Love, Light and Peace,
You see all the contributing factors
That were yours, his, ours!
You discover beautiful people,
Just like you,
Living like you,
Not at fault for all your shit,
Not a piece of f*cking property,
Not someone that completes you,
Or possessively, controlling at your disposal,
Because of some lame excuse.
Just because some person did you wrong before,
Whether it's a man, or a woman,
Realize not all people choose to learn
From their experiences!!!
Move forward, Live Now...
Own your courage and love,
Directly at source within,
just as much love, respect, trust, faith,
And truth you give yourself,
Will be mirrored,
In each other, as they are,
Without assuming or cultivating
Some facade to repeat history......
Cut the Bs…
As I defend without defending or arguing,
But passionately honoring my own heart,
Men are humans,
Their not all just made to be targeted,
And vice versa both genders!
We are human,
We make mistakes,
Some stay the same,
But there’s a gazillion out there,
That hold themselves accountable,
Like I do, when we own our input and output,
We ourselves can only change when we choose too!!!
Don’t blame, Don’t hold grudges,
Upheld by low blown excuses,
To hate, to be just as cruel,
Change it up…
We all grow,
Who we are changes!
Let love, unconditional,
Be your reign…
Thank every experience,
We can’t change them,
But we can reclaim our lives in the now,
Our hearts, and theirs forward…
Thank you Men for teaching me,
And reminding me, you too, are human,
None of our perfect!
Thank you for all the blessings!
I love our diversities,
Our similarities, I love each of you,
For what began to pave,
When I chose light,
Rather than hate…
All of you even the ones a lot people,
Think I should never Thank,
“Hurt People, Hurt people,”
Heals our world,
Heal their world too,
No matter what they choose
To do with it…
Love one another,
Break away from history,
Stigma, stereotypical hatred,
And let love and gratitude
Thank you all the guys before now,
Thank you to all the guys I know now,
And Thanks to all the ones I have yet to
Know, meet, or pass by with or will be connected too…
You are so very cherished,
For all that became, lives here and forward through me,
Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror
Thank you for all the patience, presence,
And peace, I so appreciate you!
We’re all just trying to figure things out,
As we go, got it!
everything is mutual,
as in what's going inside of me,
I am originally from British Columbia Canada, but have lived in Iowa, USA, for most of my life. Mom of four, Married. Hello, I am