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I have learned a lot about myself
when I have done things in the light of anger. I have learned about the Blame, guilt, and hurt that lived beneath it, that had nothing to do with anyone but my own reactions to my own expectations. I just never belted out, so how would anyone else know, what I kept silent within me. Most of the triggers I have, I know the buttons to push, I know what it does, but what I didn't know for the longest of time, is why I held that against others rather than calling myself out, for holding myself a prisoner to the broken record of my past. "I believe our emotions give us keys, to many locks that after enough frustrations, we learn to forgive ourselves through self-love, and the Pandora boxes within old hurts, reopen with new eyes, and we see ourselves as we were, when those experiences happened, with the wisdom we have already gathered... Treasures reveal, we perceive opened, a whirlwind of understanding clears the fog, and the Blessed lesson is seen, for what it is... We pick up the lesson, learn, and get back on track." Everything can be built into stepping stones upon our path. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror
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Through self-love,
we create an Opportunity to fully Love, Honor and Appreciate, what has been overlooked by many, and Love it, By Ourselves, for Ourselves. To appreciate, To Grow, To care, To tend, To love, To accept, To Forgive, To be Grateful for, To Learn, To radiate, To acknowledge, To remind, To Reflect, To see, hear, feel, smell, taste, To be, what we seek, To wholeness in our own Light, in our own arms, with our own two feet, Shining. That to me is the Best Feeling in the World, and to share, is to Double, our Blessings. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror All the times I have felt broken,
All the times I felt I was but an empty seat, All the times I kicked myself deeper into a rut, I was more whole in those moments, then I knew, at the time. Those Fighting moments, Those Mentally exhausting emotional rifts, were Blessings, Polishing the Gem I have always been. - It Took years of frustrating, ground breaking discovery to learn that, all that was..... My only lack, my only huge mistake of a lesson needed to learn then, I Harnessed Later. The Solution then and now, are the same, it's Love. Unconditional, Whole, LOVE!!! I needed to Love Myself, instead of looking for others to fill the void within, Instead of finding something good and Blaming them for not filling it enough to make me really feel it, so I would madly, throw it away, holding an angry grudge against them. I wasn't really mad at them, I was more angry at myself for not realizing what I sought for, laid simply, within me. - I had to recognize, believe, work through, forgive, but most of Love, myself, as is. - I am so grateful I took this risk to challenge myself, to convince myself of this weird answer, To unfurl, dis-entangle, unravel the strings I attached, Let go, release the poisonous webs, I clung to... I Released... Into Ownership I went, I traveled over hills, ruts, puddles, and met myself down a bit, and to the left side of my chest, and though it felt like a hot dry desert, with little to none stats of salvaging what could be there, I discovered my heart, sighed with relief, and surrendered to the fighting, the blaming, curled myself into fetal position allowing myself to be engulfed by the Light that never left, me. I had a long gentle embrace with tears rolling down my cheeks, each drop that fell, was one of forgiveness and of gratitude, even though I was still lost, As I reacquainted myself with Love, I remembered this light, was me and was overcome with love. I have planted that seed, remembering I was never broken, I was just blinded by the unknown, I plant myself each day rooted and love, I plant myself into the seas of Gratitude, and I keep plowing through. Never forgetting what it took, and allowing myself to be the wind beneath my own two wings. It is worth a Thousand hot deserts, impassable Hills, and ruts to rediscover Love within. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror ( Remembering who I was, within the past 9 years ago, prior to where I am now.)
- Everything I rebelled myself against blindly to please others, didn't work. Everything I allowed my fear to run me over with, didn't work. Every time I hid, it didn't work. Every lie I told through reasons and excuses to cover my ass, didn't work. I never got peace of mind from, avoiding ownership. Denial drew out, the worse case scenario possible for me every day, I was literally engulfed with the drama I created, externally through many faces, only reflecting the conflicts within me. I lied and disliked myself for years. I was so scared, numbed, desensitized by everything, it seemed. I did not know what it was to be me, Would I even like this person? "No! I didn't like me," I emitted that very strongly from within, and that is exactly what I got. - And for years I carried this burdening baggage, blending very well with many lost souls of gossipers, haters, hypocrites, the gimme gimme takers, that crowd, kept me hidden, beneath piles and piles of Bullshit, like I thought I was. - I later discovered, to listen within, I hadn't ever been taught that. I was told to listen, obey, and do it quickly or else. So listening to myself, making things right within myself, was really rough to go against the grain, of me. But I dug, deeper then I knew at that time was even the slightest bit possible. as I traveled through many dark tunnels within, I discovered I was projecting onto others, the very abuse that was done to me. - Holy shit, I was abusing myself! I was causing more self harm with every lie, excuse, reason, avoidance, allowance and dislike. I didn't know what mindfulness was, or how to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. I really only knew the difference between yes, no, stop and go. I just felt a lingering ache within me, every bad choice I chose, A great indicator was, how much chaos, stress and drama rippled forth. - Every Time I felt that horrible, hanging almost strangling guilt lingered, it became what guided me. Guilt built my path, that pang of pain, was what guided me into saying no, and stopping what I was doing, to go another route. I progressed with Honesty, Boundaries, and Ownership more than I have ever regressed, overall. I proved to myself, the strength I had all along. Choose to Listen to yourself, Choose to notice things as you progress, Choose to Be Courageous. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror “Ten steps forward or Five steps back, I can love myself in Either direction.”
Change used to scare me, being within the space of versatility, meant I would have to adapt, and honestly that was something I feared, along with not knowing if I were to be rejected, abandoned, a horrible mistake or worst case scenario be replaced. The Unknowns was not a place, I thought I could ever embrace, or be okay with. I was more comfortable with pasting a grin on, and acting "fine." Fine, I could deal with it, tolerate it, because within me, I had a place of mysticism within my mind, painted with joy, because my actual life did not have that, it hugely lacked around me, through family, through my friends. Plus I was hugely comfortable with being cold to myself, because it was predictable, and I didn't have to adapt. Again, like the so many times we do in life, I got sick and tired of, the stories I repainted in my head, trying to convince myself this was the safe way to go. Layering excuses, pissed off at the whole world, at myself. I didn't realize then, I was causing more damage to myself staying that way. I stepped back, I took a breath, almost didn't come out of my pause, Walked to my bathroom, flipped the light switch on, and there I was... Looking at myself, in the eyes, looking at my mouth, my cheeks, my nose, my colorless cheeks, the bags under my eyes, and before I could go into the judgments of how I looked, I felt a fire burn within me, I tried again to lie to myself that this change is bad, that change is gonna screw me over, big a mistake. My facial expression in the mirror, including my eyes, literally looked like I was dying, phrase by phrase, I lost color, I lost sparkle, I went from firmly persuasive to yup you guessed it, crying... Crying but still lying to myself, blaming myself, my messed up family, taking out a huge rant of irrelevant crap and dumping on myself, with very degrading, vulgar words... Went from a Cry to a mumble, to this is not fine, what happened to me? Why did I numb out? Why am I allowing this? I can change, I do when I am with my friends, and I act differently with my parents, that's being versatile. Why do I make things more complex than they really are? I like change, it's fun, I have a whole wardrobe full of clothes, stuff, I change into. I change around my living-room all the time, and it feels different each time. I don't always shower at the same time every day, I don't only listen to one type of music, why do I resist this? I could use my imagination for creative solutions instead of using it for my hermit shell to stay stuck. Why Not? I am already adaptable, to people, things, my home, my food, the freaking weather! Why not just get off my butt, and go with it? no more what if's! I will just deal with that, when it pops up... Versatility here I come, here I stay, changes sometimes still get the best of me, I hit some scary times, but I remind myself of what was, and all I could do then, I remind myself how well I can adapt with changes and that is what keeps me stepping forward too. - What I learned from versatility: Ten steps forward or Five steps back, I can love myself in Either direction. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror  When I address myself & all my counterparts,
The fragments, the shadows, The skeletons, the secrets, The buried & bruised, The outbursts, the silencing, The deafening, the suppressing, The me’s within me. The all of me’s I contain, Within my stories, my truths, My own deceptions, my own, I own: I withhold, I weather, I expose, I shed light to, I reclaim, I outgrow. The means of me, The means through which I “live/learn/love/laugh,” The means I offer, I define, I permit, I direct, I overcome, I ignore, I deny, I face, I accept, I change, I forgive, I love, I like, I voice, I hear/listen, I sense, I create, I reconcile, I activate, I proactively give more of myself, For, into, gather, from, through, Finding comfort within the uncertainty, Within discomforts of contrasts, Do I find, do I discover, More to rejoice in, More to celebrate, Adding to the longevity Of this Mind, this Heart, This Body, this Soul, All these roles we do sincerely play, Within this life.. I am ever so grateful to be alive, To have… For this and so much more, Thank you! Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror In all I confront, Do I confess, My truths, my disguises, My rights, my wrongs, My changes, my illuminations, My surrender, my forgiveness, My dedication, my discoveries, My allowing, my resistance, My ignorance, my gullibility, My growth becoming my healing, Is my journey, My understanding, my awareness, My evolution… Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror Yes, I confess through which I Live!   Giving into all I can get,
Rests and relies on How much I am willing to be given/created/released Or not given/created/released right now, As I am always served, Every moment.. Always and forever Birthing, growing change, Presenting itself here & now, Can we love, appreciate, accept, Claim, own, receive, give, share, Exchange, work through, Understand, respect, trust, Be honest, be kind? Can we open our awareness, admit our not knowing, Face ourselves, overcome, forgive, let go, move forward? As each moment comes, no matter which way, Can be valued for our becoming, For our choosing, For our creating, paving, building, Working forward and toward, Is what moves us… Giving into all I can get, make of, Learn from, lean into, Get away from, Is what we will it to be, From choice, Blessing or Curse, It rests and relies on us… Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror  Into the collapsing of walls, disguises,
Restrictions, fears. Old ways, default habits, I allow the rising of; Suns, moons, skies, winds, Waters, lands beneath, around, Above, within, To encompass & be with me… As I release, As I invoke, As I embody, As I live, As I act, say, believe, give, build, discover, Create, share, dig, learn, expand.. Breathing, From my core, the soul of this body, My body for this soul, I, enliven, I animate, I emanate. I give birth to this life, Unfurling now, My presence, my love, my light. I am forever becoming and so does my life, Become more aware of what makes me, Come forth more pronounced, More alive, truly, wholly awaken, Into the unbecoming, Into the coming undone, Into all however it weighs or balances, Do I just beautifully, Become… Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror  Slowing down,
Reserving my presence, My time, all that lives here, Within my energetic motion, Of thoughts, words, action. Investing as I am, I give into the space creating now: A gentle pause, A gentle hug, A gentle welcome, A gentle hello, A gentle alive awareness, A gentleness to my experiences, My healings, my transitions, And so giving my all, So I go forth, Slowing down, softly Nestling into having more Unstoppable peace, love, joy… Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror  Bound to my heart,
All that I give, All that is shared, Within me is what I serve Through which is my service… Bound to my heart, Bound to the universe, That everything is connected And integrated with, This place within me, Within the universe, The tapestry called life, Is where I belong, Where all hearts far more than exist, But awakens more to be had, Of this life, living bound to love, Not fear, not negativity, not hatred, But to enjoy, but to expand, But to grow, because of Love, Because of light, because of our diversity, Because it is to live, to be celebrated, And honored… Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror  As I gravitate towards all possibilities,
I defy all old no longer relevant selves, Beliefs, restraints… As I choose so do I invite, attend, initiate, Delve into and of my ever expanding self, To the wholeness provided, Here in this now... As I am gravitating, So do I emanate, thoroughly all that I was, All that I am, and all that leads to more Installments of expansions to explore… Taking in for the journey of who I am becoming, Who I will be, I magnetize all possibilities, now… In all that is processing, unveiling, creating, Is activated and welcomed, For it’s all, unconditionally and organically, paves. There is no resistance, When I willfully, participate Opening with loving happiness, To cultivate, Now… I gravitate full awareness, full exposure, Full receiving, full sharing, Full potential by being, Really readily willing of the sweet surrendering, And remembering of myself, As whole being, simultaneously, Mind, body, heart and spirit, As one living vessel dedicated, To all the spaces here continuously, Unfolding more, here’s for now… Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror Be willing, Be patient, Be open, Be faithful to Your “Self,” Trusting your inner guidance, Trusting the light & love We are and always exuding with… Be unconditional, Be wise, Be kind, Be generous, Be and Give out; Presence, time, light, Respect, truth, abundance, Compassion, empathy, As to be a generator, A warmth of sun, fire, stardust, Which we all certainly are… Be intimate, Be willing, Be open, Be kindly honest, Be you, Being unconditional as within, So we put forth, So we attract, So we bring forth, So we give, share and breathe life Into our world, our universe, our circle, Our beacons of love, Beckons the rippling of effects, From within, Thoroughly to throughout, Above, below, around, All brings ascension. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror  When all within me
Is left open, Open to the winds of change, Open to be more receptive Of each approaching moment, Open to live curiously, Open to love without condition, Open to accept without being matched Or competed with, for whatever unspoken expectations Beginning within me to reveal my next lesson, My next expansion to install, to release, to move through, Grow from, outgrow through, allowed… To be more open, Peeling, digging, Transmitting, attracting, Etching from places within me, Some I knew, some I didn’t know of, Some that came from split trees, literally uprooted, Shards and fragments of trauma leftover Shattering, somewhat shocking truths... Left open by suppression, Left open by convincing myself it wasn’t there, Left open by fault finding, shaming, blaming, Left open by trying to force healing, Left open by my own dis-ownership, Left open by replays mentally, Left open by choosing to not really see, To expose but paint over, Sometimes even repaint under false Pretenses, Sometimes because I could not fathom Forgiveness, Sometimes ruled by my experiential filters Within victim and survival mode, Accidentally left open, But still, no matter the outer or inner conflict. Always trying to appear calm, cool, collected, Un-phased, numbing, zombie like, Out of body, dissociative in the sense, To act like I was fine, okay. All of it was a facade, that left me In an almost involuntary open, Vulnerably, sheepishly the wolf, Because of all that abuse, Or misuse, the mistreatment I experienced, I gave permission to myself, To allow, to punish myself, To allow others opinions and points of view Be my dictation. I was left brutally open, To be stolen, I didn’t realize that loving myself, Entirely was to come with boundaries, Because I thought that was what “Open,” Meant to have none…. Before I learned what courage Was, before I knew that I could like myself, Let alone even love all the parts. I believed through which I learned, And lived through I was only here to be alienated, Destructed, mocked, abused, Manipulated, guilt-ed, shamed, Humiliated, rejected, neglected, Who I was, was not up to par, Who I was, was meant to be taken Advantage of, Who I was, was not up to me. I was constantly called a slut, A whore, before I even understood what it meant. Worse of all, the people who were supposed To love me unconditional, Throughout my upbringing, Came with a massive written, Yelling, hitting list of what was accepted, What was not. I didn’t have my own Internal boundaries to be prescribed by myself, I was told how to live, By dysfunctional and retaliation type of people. Open as to follow what mandatory examples I had, I grew up accepting their normal, While they were trying to heal, do better, get better, Or at least their choosing to act like it. I can not and will not speak up for them, Or protect them, or cover their assets... I am simply revealing the other, Darker beautiful, that pushed, pulled, tore me up, Until I could love and appreciate, Both parts, the entire picture. The wholeness that became who I got Tired of being, the who I decided, In whole action, thought, heart, listening, Speaking nature, to walk away from, as to hear my own self better, to transmute these restrictions, These things I let define me. Be changed by my own living definitions, Allowing all that previous sacred but scared, And scarred openness become freed. As much of it was no longer relevant, Because I wasn’t being who they wanted me to be, To play my part, is their sickness, Was mine too for awhile, I chose it, and continue to know better, Get better, do better…. I see the wisdom in every part, shred, layer, Perception, understanding better, Learning better, knowing I don’t know everything, That was the most important and hardest thing For me to grow from, heal from, While, Staying open, Positively charged by evolution, Instead of living so heavily guarded, By conditions, expectations, eggshell walking, people/family pleasing, denying, rejecting, Alienating myself as to appease and comfort Anyone but myself, because that is what They think is right to do, the only way to live, As I am supposed to change my direction, As they want me to hold their experiences, Their issues, their shame, as all of mine, As I am not to have my own experiences, My own paths, my own ways, just to live because their entitlement was what supposively, I needed to spend the rest of my life, living up too and through. I am open, But not open to allow history, Their history, my history to repeat. All the opens I was before, Became my stepping stones, Even though some were the tightest of twisters, Ravishing hurricanes, not detectable Fires, wildfires, gas lit, ready to push me down, So they look better… Without pushing anyone down, We can look, feel, hear, taste and be better, By facing ourselves, our beliefs, Our excuses, our neglect, Our own defeats, sabotages, Blames, dishonesty, Bearing ourselves open. Open to realize what can be, because of boundaries, Open to realize our own molds, Rules, regulations, Open to realize and live our respect, Our love, our honor, our lives, Unconditionally, Without letting all that filth control us. Freeing the suppression, From controlling or dictating, Unconsciously, or consciously, Allowing to deconstruct, Our now and future… Choosing to understand, Choosing to connect, Choosing to stop holding onto what gives us misery, Choosing to remain open, Letting our evolution, Change our definition of open, Growing us, teaching us, still…. Healing is a daily practice, Leaving ourselves open, Can be very scary, Can be overwhelming, Can be what you allow or create it to be, You can continue to keep yourself reactive, To be boundary-less and reactivating wounds to complain and do nothing about, Or You can revel in taking your life, Your process from reactivity To responding, observing, reserving the right, That if and when something doesn’t feel right, you don't have to allow it, or put up with it! Being committed enough to ourselves, our path, Our walk, our pace, our hearts, Honoring Our own definitions, our own damn truths, Our own lessons learned, & the ones we don’t know of yet. Allowing ourselves to forever remain open, Open and receptive to all the goodness We contain, the world contains, The goodness always coming our way now, Because meanwhile shit hitting the fan, Or learning that we were copycatting, Or repeating beliefs that attracted misery Because we were taught to accept this, Was all there, Left open, in the burial within us, For us to unlearn, reconfigure, To discover the beauty within, Taking the masks off, Having the guts to stay open, While we will always be growing, as we still grow… Owning our own, Owning our open, Placing good, healthy boundaries, Thriving, still striving, To be the change we need, To change our world... Serves hope, Serves our light better, Gives, shares, and distributes illumination, so others can find the beauty, In loving our whole selves. Even when we first believed That being open, brings us to being targets.. May we begin to learn, to expand, to discover, And reclaim what openness means to us. Thought, and sensed by us, Through the darkness, Through the light, Through the continuous shedding, Of growing, out growing, Becoming, who we came to this earth to be. To live through, to rise through, To begin, within a consistent renewing Of who we think we are, Who we know we are. Into who we are always becoming, More and more open, To face, leave, maybe forgive, To realize we can love and respect more openly, Guided by boundaries, Being freed unconditionally and thoroughly Through the evolution of BEING open… Always learning to be more open, More receptive, more possible, More unconditional, More love, more light, More growing, more healing, More of ourselves and the great divine, Open as we were, to come here, Get here, lead here, grow here, To leave here with… I leave myself Open, I love myself open, I respect myself open, I lighten myself open, I forgive myself open, I let myself become, More flexibly open. All goodness is celebrating me, Open, every step, every thought, All I give opens, Whether it be me, Whether it be you, All is here and filled with the purpose, To Open… Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror I live to be replenished open, To discover, open, Even when closing, I stay open, Open as in to appreciate What awe’s can be here, And are to come... Even though its raw & rough at times, always learning to be ready, discovering what ready is, steadily readied on the purpose, to be opened more, Even when I am uncomfortable With life, I am open… I am getting wiser! When I become so infused into the present,
I forget what day it is, I fail to notice more than this moment, As each arrives, so amazingly here… Staying receptive, Staying aware, Staying relevant, Staying within alignment, Staying Unconditional, To all the blessings here, Coming, creating and being cultivated, By me, through me, for me, Connecting and lifting off, Every moment that I am truly here for… In saying this, yesterday, I had no idea it was Friday, I guess, I forgot what day of the week it was, And when I realized the weekend was upon me, Lol… I looked to these days before that felt more like, A weekend, because I chose to be soulfully, Wholly right there, there, there, and now here… I used to put all my awe into the weekend, As the daily grind would consume me, Stress me out, drain me, and I would procrastinate My wholeness, my happiness for the weekend… Since choosing joy every day, and to find beauty in every way, Each day, feels like a vacation, Like really good, even though it’s blended with some contrasts! Being really here, Saturated in the moment of now, I can feel the amazing weekend release, Every single moment, When I wake up, When I opened my eyes, When I get up and out of bed, When I do the caring of the home-front, When I am doing the used to be mundane of dishes, Laundry, showers, eating, cooking, cleaning, I am completely, happily invested, In all I get to do, fully infused. Which, I have now discovered is where All the greatest treasures are found, And continue to be found...Here, here, Coming, letting go, observing, Overcome with awe, No matter which way or what freaking day it is, Soaking up all the goodness of every drop, I get ...This is me really living my life, As pertained and beheld by my heart, Without doubt, without leaning out, Just Thriving, shining, being the “Me,” I was not only born to be, But the one who is still evolving And creating herself, forward, Only by a now, that now, this now.. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror May you unleash your splendor, By gifting yourself, every now you have, With unconditional love, respect, honesty, As to Honor yourself, that is a great service, To the world around us, in loving each now, We have…. Unleash the treasures, Beautiful’s! I appreciate right now, For it is all we sincerely do, have… May you too! I love where I am, May you too, love where you are! Everything you do,
Always works out for you! Keep steadily arising as you already are and have been. You are strengthening, You are evolving, You are amazingly still climbing, your own light, truth, intentions Within yourself. Your own, built, proven and validated truths, Faiths, agility, trusts, action. Every speck, Every bit, piece, Every step, path, creation, You are always doing, what works out for you, Thank you, Thank yourself, Thank your past, Thank your future to come, Thank you now, Because as is, Everything is always working out for you, I am so happy for you, with you. I am so grateful, For all you do, Supports as you align, Aligns as to support, Always giving you the best opportunity, To harness all your gifts, Always, For us to discover, recover, And make new of ourselves, Beautiful and Blessed, We are, You are, I am… I am consistently in love, Grateful and Happy for you, For us, for all that is here, And all the best of blessings, Always coming, as we pave now and forward, This freaking amazingly beautiful, Right now, You, I savor this, And who you are consistently, becoming! Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror I am invested in you,
Through my heart, Through all that I give, Think, say, do, am, I invest in who I think I am, Through which I know Because of experience, And through which I don’t know, But dwell in the love and light, I am, You are, each of us are… I am invested in you, Through which I exude, As You are invested in me, Through which you exude, A partnership, A resonance, A friendship, A companion, A connection, We all are, As we continue to stay present, Giving our whole being, Every ounce of heart we have, Into every day, Investments, Expansions, For our most beautiful, Evolution.. For this and so much more, I find constant renewing, Gratitude, Faith, Trust, Hope, Awe, Resilience, Motivation, To invest in now, Through all that I am, Through all that you are, Right here, right now, Miracles, Of light, of love, Of out of this world, Awesome, Blessings, teachings, That I am so Thankful, To have, to get, to receive, To share, to live, to learn, To love, is held here, Now… Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror Invested in my heart, I invest in you, You invested in your heart, Invests in me, being me… Thank you! May we honor as in realize,
just how beautiful, and awe-inspiring It is to go sightseeing in other parts of the world. There’s that same beautiful, When we take an observant, Look into ourselves, A facing of ourselves, Of all We didn’t know contained within us. Kind of like an I spy, combined, With holding the presence, Of a joyous voyage of sightseeing, Within us, to really, mindfully, Look into ourselves, Our totally spectacular, inner world, The worlds of our minds, The worlds of hearts, The worlds of our soul, The world of our mistakes, our wounds, our scars, The worlds of gratitude, The worlds of bravery & survival, The worlds of acceptance, trust, The worlds of liberating honesty, forgiveness, The worlds of past we subconsciously or consciously hold onto, That no longer serve us, The all, we have become worlds, All we don’t have to be now, worlds…. To simply see, In the deepest of spiritual sense of see, what we love, What is possible to be free of, What we learn, and the treasures, Still to come, still to be, still yet to be had... When led by love, we can discover, Explore, face, move, get through, maybe even let go, Becomes a dance in all its liberation, Of vacation like relief, that moves us, That moves through us, that moves us As we walk and talk right now, Offering awe-inspiring within the in-between, The meanwhile's, for the duration of every nook and cranny, Of experiences, experiments, expansions, Exuding with possibilities... For us to renew our awe, our strength, Get comfortable with the uncomfortable of new shores, New heights, new places to see, to touch, taste, smell, hear To invest into being in constant renewing awe, Of our astounding selves, right now... Celebrating all the stars and worlds we contain, Forever downloading, uploading, broadening, Connecting, feeding us by which we pursue, Think, believe, know, don’t know, movement... Just within us, here, and allowing us to gather more Wisdom, more bravery, more awe, For this Magnificent adventure, All, calls life… Blessing you, Blessing me, Encouraging us, To stay awakened, To renew, remember, restore, reclaim, Enjoy, magnifying this awe, This love, this you, this us, these Worlds of new, So each of us, can truly live the most fulfilling, Of now...Now… That is the kind of beautiful, Sightseeing that too, is a gift, We can give to ourselves, Anytime, always, renewing our awe-inspiring, As we go about the world outside of us, Discovering, learning, exploring, May we also remember to honor The worlds within us, Just the same… Love! Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror Be Blessed always with Both, as all of it grows us into more love and light! There will always be finer lines,
So faintly put, In energy to; Honor & Protect, To resist & to become aware of. Inside of me, Inside this world, All to connect, All to transcend & transmute. All to evolve, All to give, All to share, All as it paves, All of it wills us, Carves who we are, To be, to become, Becoming, emerging us, As it arrives, As it is ignored or accepted, As it surfaces, As it leaves, As it is savored or suppressed, As it offers, So do we offer ourselves, To invest, To remove, To live, To exchange, Being changed, Becoming more grown, Learning, shifting, Everything, All at once, Simultaneously, As the earth breathes, As the skies breathe, As the plants breathe, As the animals breathe, As do we, breathe, Give life, To all we have learned, All we are always, Becoming, Being transported, Transformed, Commuting, Networking, Paves our boundaries, Paves our roads, Our experiences, Our uploads, our downloads, Our connected roots, Our hearts, our souls, Our voices, our truths, Our light…. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror The tapestry we interweave, Finer lines into, through, Which we breathe into ourselves, Into our world, united, By our own collective, Unique, ebb and flow, However we bring ourselves to Life, Each day we have & get.... Fired up,
To me, doesn’t mean pissed off. When I say, “I am fired up.” This is what my heart, my soul are saying, As it is feeling, as it is connecting, As it is learning, as we are consistently Coming into and out of, Through which I live, I am compelled towards The light within me, The radiance around me, That I pick up, that I gather, That touches and moves me, To shine bright and brighter, As every moment I have and get, Mixes all the beautiful fires within me. Allowing, giving off however I choose to Create, cultivate, utilize, A bigger and brighter blaze And sense of self, Into all of my presence now. For me to say, To feel, to express, To dance with omnipresence is to be ablaze, With all good motives, intentions, Pure goodness in motion, Comes with me anywhere I choose to go, With me for all my experiences, Here growing, burning brighter, Adding to my determination, Courage, strength and expansions... With gratitude, To all the people that turned from lessons, Into some of the biggest stepping stones, Of blessings, Where I was, where you were, When we arose, how we did overcome, How we allow ourselves to continue to rise, Those fiery, fires, inspiring us still, Inspiring our now’s and forward’s, We are always going after... That’s what I mean, When I say, “I am fired up.” Ready, set, go! Trust me if and when I am pissed off, I will define this differently, But right here, right now, I am fired up, Passionately, honestly, Wholly, instinctively, spiritually, Mentally, physically, emotionally, Intuitively, collectively ablaze! Living and loving my life, To the dang highest, and Fullest! Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror I am fired up, Alive, kicking ass, happy, getting healthier and happier, As I am now, and always striving for! Enhancing my world, our world, our lives, Thank you for being here, and boosting all our energies Fiery bright and forward, I cherish us ever so much! Sugar-coating is delusional,
I choose to be really me, Not someone’s version of me… - Not using vulgar words, That expectation, Is someone trying to fit me in a nice and tidy box Of perfection, to your expectations, Which is me complying to your dictation, Which insults my authenticity… So what, I use decorative, colorful, Passionate Fuck’s, Shit’s, As to enunciate my life, What’s real for me, As described by me, for me… Just as there are different races, cultures, Languages, the ways we speak, act, feel, do, think, are, Differ… Just because I speak fluidly slang’s possibly worse Than a sailor, doesn’t mean I’m trash. I am who I think and I know I am... I don’t disrespect you, or will stoop or get disgusted by you, Being you, I choose to not be so bitter, And judgy… Hey Haters, Hey nay-sayers, I speak, real, sometimes rough, sometimes raw, But always in direct correlation to what’s going on Inside of me, and my view… My Truth is my truth, I am beautiful, no matter what, Also the depths of me, are mine, I don’t have to conform to you, You don’t have to conform to me… Even though we differ, Your truths however expressed are yours… In this day and age, Why be divided? Diversity really honestly shouldn’t divide us, But be celebrated, Even when we disagree or dislike. Lead with love, We lead with respect, Communication, language, Can differ, Motives and intentions, Can come through colorfully, Without it being in an attack mode, Or an assault, or abuse. When we reflect that it is, Let’s be more aware, That when it pushes our buttons, There is something in us to be healed, Not to resort to being more arrogantly ignorant, Bashing, being spiteful, revenge is hatred, as it pains another, It makes all the wounds in you, reopen and cut deeper… Be Bold, Be bolder, Lead from Love, Fear and hatred is the only divide, That you choose, It's a damn choice! We all can Learn, unlearn, Change is always an opportunity To see, hear through unconditional love without conforming, Just believe, to each their own! Be not divided… Each of us is allowed by birthright to be different… No matter our dialect or colors, Or the ways we are, As long as there’s no threat to cause harm, Or any actual physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, sexual, Verbal harm, then no harm is done in our own expression. So what! People all have their own ways to speak Their truth, stop adding to your problems, Stop adding yours to ours, Heal, your issues, With what works for you, We’ll heal ours, With what works for us... Stop labeling, Judging, blaming, Being constantly offended, Creating more conflict, There’s enough of that shit, in the world, already... Let’s just be respectful, That’s real, That’s love, That’s Honoring everyone, As we honor our own hearts, Now and forward… So we talk differently, So we are different, Why be so divided? When we can still be united, Celebrating who we all are. Without picking fights, Without making each other Fit into restrictive brackets, boxes, Without being unkind, cruel, abusive, Mean bullies, shunning one another... Be bold, get bolder, So we all can, shine brighter, or not, it's really up to you, not me… Let us be, unconditional, In every area of ourselves, And be that in all that we have to do, Get to do, have a say in, Think of, let love, respect, Become us, That is each of us living to the fullest, Utilizing all our light, Now, forward, Happiness always achieved, Given and shared... Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror Letting us be, Lets you be, Gives off bigger, brighter, Blessings around, abound, And to what we pull into our lives, From the universe. Allowing us to live all our days, As Joyous as possible, And as peaceful as we’ve all Always, ever wanted… Just because someone has a Problem with me, doesn’t mean I’m at fault, And I am the one that has to change, Conform to accommodate them, I will not conform, And quite honestly, Vulgarly, I am not a fucking Doormat or people pleaser. I understand there’s a time and a place For my colorful tongue, But please, please, don’t be so quick To divide, to judge, to hate and gossip about that, To project your triggers. Realize how I speak, Is just my language, Not every single one of my truths, Comes out vulgar. I am an intense person, I guess, very passionate, Very me. I don’t need punished, I don’t need trained, I need you to let me be me, As I will continue no matter how badly You want to scrutinize me, Let you be you... I love you, I forgive you, And like everything else, I move on, whether you choose to or not... Being me, and loving you anyways, I will always be true to my heart! Realize when we are most powerful,
The haters surface, and flock to us. Stay powerful, Stay unbreakable, Stay YOU, Strong, kind, honest And take no shit, Do no spiteful shit, Keep your Rise on! Having solid faith in ourselves, Having solid respect and esteem Within ourselves, Exudes our heart and happier life, Power, To create, to pave, To honor and learn Of and for ourselves, Meanwhile building a life, An active connection To our hearts, And into our world… There’s nothing wrong With having zero tolerance, Toward what drains us, Toward what is trying to bring us down, And those that label us cruelly, With name calling, Just project their insecurities, Their wounds, the problems they blame others for, And none of it has any direct hold On us, none of it ever really does have anything to do with us, not one single bit! Stay in your power, Be powerful, focus, and do what YOU Are doing, because that’s what works, And that’s what is keeping us now, And forward! You know what Fuels and what doesn’t, Stay committed to YOU, Now and forward, Because no matter what, That is truly what actually, Matters, Most! Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror Follow and Lead YOU! There is SO much within us
and this universe we are living in, That has been untraveled, unexplored, Unknown left dormant, Remaining treasures/nightmares, We have, yet to know, Yet to discover, For no Human is completely freed From imperfections, triggers, wounds, Ignorance, for we all don’t know Everything, We aren’t fortune tellers, We are human… Learning as we go, Becoming however We feel, sense, experience, Allowing ourselves to know, To grow, to change, to live, To survive, to thrive, To expel, to exude, To renew, to reclaim, To dip into, to up-heave, To experiment, to practice, To realize, to resist, To morph, to transmute, To envision, pursue, To develop from, into and through, To excite, to drive, to instigate, To inhibit, to refuse, to protest, To respect, to love, to disconnect And connect, to engage be involved, To disengage, to evade, to venture, To decide, to give, to share, to receive, To believe, to make sense of, To be, to live, to say, to do, to hear, To see, to taste, smell, Present no matter what comes, No matter what was, No matter what’s now… Constant, fearlessly constant, While we live, While we figure things out, While we are always, Becoming, however We choose to, Fearlessly Constant, Now, now, now, always... Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror “No more Discouraging Yourself”
Suppression, Is self-harming, Is tormenting the self, Is self-sabotage, Is performing constant denial. It’s a way to lure, Distract, suppress, Ignore, overlook, Neglecting issues, Delving into fears, Worries, delusions, Targeting yourself. As to punish yourself, For, ever feeling this, For, ever making those mistakes, Unable to accept, Unable to deal with, As busying yourself, Only prolongs both the depth Of the pain, and cuts us much more deeply… Procrastinating, Making excuses, To keep the burden inside, Always activated... Yes it’s your call, Your life, Your body, Your problems, Your issues, Your secrets, But the misery Exuding darkness Around you, From within you, I see it, hurting you so much more, Then it flares up around me... Even though you are attempting, To pull the facade that all is well, I can tell you are lying… Lying, being dishonest to others, As you are being towards yourself, Is abusive, Is self-harm, Is allowing yourself, And all your potential, Be fulfilled by suffering, Rather than be freed, Choosing weights to kill you as you live, Burns you down, Though you have condensed like lingering fog. I can sense all the pain, You choose to deny, Not uncover, And choose repeatedly, To disguise… Masks restrict, suffocate, kill, Murder who we want to become, Who we could become, By not letting us think we even have a chance… Life is not supposed to be torture, In my own words, Which I live, I sense all this misery, Clouded confusion, Infusions of fear, Fear to be real, Fear of being rejected, Fear of being hurt, Fear ridden, Fear suppressed, Fear not being faced, Fear leading. I understand needing to figure things out On our own, But torturing yourself, Holds no appropriate cause, But holds you hostage, limited…. You don’t think yourself worthy, You don’t think others sense your worth, Everything here, in this area, Wraps around us like fun-house mirrors, Giving angles that hold no truth, Exaggerated stretched out fictions, As to provoke belief, As to derail us, Misled, misleading us wins…. When there is so much of us hidden By suppression, we don’t know who to believe, Who to rely on, confused, disoriented, And when that too gets suppressed, We think we are no one… We are someone, Even if you show no care of that person, Within you, Even when no one else shows that care, It doesn’t change, The true source, We are always someone… Even the layers we have buried ourselves Within, is someone, Maybe someone we used to be, Someone that had some heavy stuff happen, Someone that made the wrong choices, Someone that lost, gained, forgot, mourned, Angered, learned from, gave them a lesson to learn, Backfired, always someone, At all those given moments, Doing the best we could at the time, Upset, and never feeling ever ready to love or Forgive those pieces….. All of that which we contain Can and will haunt us, Their repercussions, Our repercussions, Surface, constrict and attract… Suppression is not the easy route, Though it is easier to slip a mask on, A front, doesn’t mean we escape it, Because when we are all alone Or even meanwhile with friends, Those wounds narrate, Dictate, presume, resume, Just unconsciously, habitualized our so called, life. Our schedule, our routines, our reactions, our responses, Our thinking, our believing, all contributes To which we live and act out upon, Shaping our lifestyles, our relationships, Our interpersonal lives, all of what is going on, Behind those eyes, within your intentions, motives, Excrete our pains, our darkness, Our yuck, into every fiber, nook and cranny of What we make of this life, In all our yesterdays, now and forward… That is what plays into the popular excuse and phrase, “Same old, Same kind of Day.” Exudes and draws from the universe, All that then some more unnecessary crap, Pending on what we are dwelling on, Pending on what we hide, Torturing ourselves only more, Causing havoc, Self-harming, Spiraling, And making us more destructive, Distinctly putrid oozing, Projecting, becoming lethal, Growing in ripples, undercover… Piece by piece, Picking up, You can rearrange, You can redirect, Reprogram yourself, Heal piece by piece, Just as if each were only a step, No matter how long it takes, Changing, by facing, admitting, Redirecting, replaces the default into Something that will take a different course, A new route, that becomes a new, better, And healthier way to live… It is possible, You will always be someone, No matter which way you go, You do matter, That stuff within you, Need validated, Not invalidated, By suppression… You matter, That chaos and conflict within you, Matters, validate, with love, Listen, see, accept, Rearrange the way the pain tries to stop you, Deal with it, because it's you, Stopping you… You need to grow, You want to grow, You aspire to grow, You want change, Give yourself the chances, The opportunities maybe no one else gave you, Give that gift to yourself, Step up, grant yourself permission To be human, messy, healing what you can, What matters right now, Knowing when too much is beyond what you can, At the moment, And being okay with it, without comparing, Only making connections, Let yourself breathe… Things will get better, Only when you choose, To let better begin and be followed through now… You take a stand for no one to disrespect your friends, Your family, and forget yourself! It’s time to include yourself in that, Start with having more respect for yourself, The roads here, the dead-ends here, The boulders that still pop up, Being here, You are here, You just read this novel, Allow it all to sink in, Digest what pertains to you, Realize in any resonance this may have for you, That burn, that sting, that moment something clicked, Something felt like it was written for you, To you, notice the resonance, Is you telling you, Change is here, Ready happens when you connect, Different outcomes, Become, through connection… The steps appear on their own, Just a we breathe in, we breathe out, It just naturally happens, Don’t be giving yourself deadlines, Ridiculous expectations, Leave the labels out, Just observe to connect, Feel to free, Realize to walk away, So healing can become who you are now, And forward… No more speculating, Finger pointing, projecting, Suppression doesn’t protect us, Healing does prevent and protect… You matter, Lessons are served, Learn from them, Pick a part the layers, Stop beating yourself up! You got this, In this day and age, There are immeasurable ways, Tools, and resources, Always within our reach, Just as We each as we are, YOU are someone, make yourself matter… Makes all that was, Matter most now, for who we want to be, To emerge, and for who we need to be, Become and thrive, now… I love you, I accept you, I am so grateful for your light, your darkness, Sharing who you had to be, Who you thought you had to be, Who they tried to make you be, How they didn’t win, How they will never win again, How you made you better, How you won, because you have proved, Yourself wrong, By making You matter! That is the biggest accomplishment ever, A lot of people never do that, I applaud you! Thank you for being here, Being in charge of your life, your joy, your route, I am so grateful to be here, With you, moving forward into every next now we have, Giving our all… Thank you and You are not alone, Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror Your Path will always be yours… ( Disclaimer; These are through my experiences,
Not invalidating any other experiences, So please don’t expect me to repaint my experiences, Because of yours…) Mutual is Mirrored; I want to Thank all the Men, Of my life now, Of my life before here. Each of you truly influenced, Contributed to who I am now. Your light brought me to caves, Where having not traveled into, I wouldn’t be who I am now. The many spirals, The many scars I placed blame on your shoulders for, The fault finding, score keeping I blamed You guys with, placing my trauma, My abusive upbringing. In a victim mentality, you had no part in, Filtering how I saw you, How I treated you. How badly I expected all that attention, Possession, unspoken expectations, Wanting and yearning to belong To everyone but myself. I am so Thankful for each of you, And though we hit many dead-ends, You still tried to make it work, No matter how heavily I tried to blame you, For my own issues, insecurities, nonacceptance. You tried so hard to utilize resources to help me, Or hurt me as to tame your issues that my issues Triggered.. Thank you Though some of you were so heavily addicted, To sex, drugs, work, narcissism, abusive, Alcoholics, rapists, some being People I dated, hung around, Or I was born into sexual destruction, Generational dysfunction… I am Grateful for all that pain, Paved, carved, scarred me, Scarred you too, yet here I am, There you are, doing better, Because We chose to grow, Get better, or stay the same but put hundreds of miles between us, Thank you! Pulling our resources Of intuition, found ways to illuminate Caves, paths, dead-ends, brick walls, Something within us, To learn, to expose, To reveal, to heal. Most of the shit I blamed you for, Was because I listened to others, And carried out unknowingly But I admit I did this to you. I let others dictate to me, how to see and treat you, As to mirror your bad deeds, by what society & status quo lives to label, judge, Strike fearful propaganda upon us, We get so easily wrapped up and Forget to think for ourselves…. Forget innocence, Women are superior crock of shit, We are equals, Because we are Humans… Thank you for all those experiences, Even the totally crappy ones,! Takes two to tango, Sometimes one sided, Sickly experiences But I can and will always Be responsible for what I think, Say, do, believe and repeat. I want to Thank you, Each and every experience, Has illuminated my life and world, So much, because I choose to Move forward with love, with forgiveness, With the knowing that not all humans Are bad, unkind, cruel, abusive, P.O.S’s! I realized, only dwelling on those types, Keeps the blinking sign on my head to attract those types, The change had to be made by me, Because I chose to dump, numb, ignore, sabotage... I know better now.. You know better now, We all each in our own ways, Know better, Love better now, Care better now, Learned better, Still learning better... I am so grateful for all the awesome, Soulful, Men I have met since, Because I chose to heal me, Protect and honor my body, Heart, Mind and soul and give that same Powerful juice to them too, Just as unconditional as I gave to myself, I shared… There are plenty of men in this world, That have shitty women in their lives, I know, because I used to be one, I repeated what I saw, felt and learned Was okay, learned it most definitely wasn't.. Love more often, Lean in more often, Appreciate the Good, Nice, Soft hearted, Respectful and straightforward honest, men out there. Don’t give into history, Self sabotage, Judging based on someone else’s experience, Or the speculated bullshitery, Serves nothing but sh*t to both people… Do everyone including yourself A blessing, When you love yourself, When you accept yourself, When you heal yourself, All as you go... Bit by bit, investing into yourself, Then looking back through Love, Light and Peace, You see all the contributing factors That were yours, his, ours! You discover beautiful people, Just like you, Living like you, Not at fault for all your shit, Not a piece of f*cking property, Not someone that completes you, Or possessively, controlling at your disposal, Because of some lame excuse. Just because some person did you wrong before, Whether it's a man, or a woman, Realize not all people choose to learn From their experiences!!! Move forward, Live Now... Own your courage and love, Directly at source within, just as much love, respect, trust, faith, And truth you give yourself, Will be mirrored, In each other, as they are, Without assuming or cultivating Some facade to repeat history...... Cut the Bs… As I defend without defending or arguing, But passionately honoring my own heart, Men are humans, Their not all just made to be targeted, And vice versa both genders! We are human, We make mistakes, Some stay the same, But there’s a gazillion out there, That hold themselves accountable, Like I do, when we own our input and output, We ourselves can only change when we choose too!!! Don’t blame, Don’t hold grudges, Upheld by low blown excuses, To hate, to be just as cruel, Change it up… We all grow, Who we are changes! Let love, unconditional, Be your reign… Thank every experience, We can’t change them, But we can reclaim our lives in the now, Our hearts, and theirs forward… Thank you Men for teaching me, And reminding me, you too, are human, None of our perfect! Thank you for all the blessings! I love our diversities, Our similarities, I love each of you, For what began to pave, When I chose light, Rather than hate… Thank you! All of you even the ones a lot people, Think I should never Thank, “Hurt People, Hurt people,” Loving ourselves, Heals our world, Loving others, Heal their world too, No matter what they choose To do with it… Love one another, Break away from history, Stigma, stereotypical hatred, And let love and gratitude Lead/guide us! Thank you all the guys before now, Thank you to all the guys I know now, And Thanks to all the ones I have yet to Know, meet, or pass by with or will be connected too… You are so very cherished, For all that became, lives here and forward through me, Thank you! Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror Thank you for all the patience, presence, And peace, I so appreciate you! We’re all just trying to figure things out, As we go, got it! Everything connects, everything is mutual, as in what's going inside of me, Projects.. |
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I am originally from British Columbia Canada, but have lived in Iowa, USA, for several years. Mom of four, Married and Hello, I am Archives |
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