All is retrievable, all are blessings.

The recollection inside,
All of the 
Out of bounds,
I have done,
Was done,
Am still overcoming.
These unmentionables,
Pivot points, 
I didn’t and don't, see coming;
Alludes me,
Intrigues me,
Guilefully, whirl me,
Beguiles as in enchants, me.
The darkest secrets,
The shadiest scars,
The vigorous wounds,
The disfigured memories,
I behold,
 Within me,
Within the most intimate
Of flashbacks, 
Such disturbances of the checks and balances,
Within me.
Knowing,
Discerning,
Which is real,
Feeling that its own pain morphs
A life of its own that split my reality.
How they used to surface,
How they still reveal themselves in new light,
Makes/made me feel bent into the surreal,
Of what I, yet to overcome,
Because within this blight, chaos,
I out of instinct rely on the panic to override, 
so my “Know How” fully trickles out and manifests…
These unmentionables of mystery,
Stemmed from much earlier suppression,
Survival mode numbing, blackouts,
Tempting old, matter of fact habits,
To become once again my default.
In these moments, hours, days,
As I feel dragged from the stability I thought I had,
(which is my soul extracting me from my own comfort zone).
I feel that every smear, slice, stab, seering scream,
Rouses me,  Heightens me, Revives me,
Entices me to find a new way to resolve, through facing.
Encouraging a healing to allow this coming undone,
Be my own becoming, be my own soul’s signals,
Initiation to become clear, disburdened…
As to alleviate entire entities of old stories,
Baring ghosts of past, pasts still within,
Holding me alike, to a hostage situation,
Procrastinating full acknowledgement,
For a full release, to detach, to let go of,
Such binds/bonds, as to wholeheartedly liberate myself
Into the now, being had, to have...
Investigating old me, to who I am now,
Realizing how all these things are integrated,
To still yet again teach me its lessons,
The possibilities of blessings.
 In retrospect,
All the light, I now am, being diffused…
All that could be, let loose towards a finding,
An encounter, a choice, a development,
Momentum, progress, unsnarling all the
Words and actions of before that has
Seeped over,
To come upon whole truths, whole experiences,
To be recognized, permitted.
Entrusting, myself with who I am to become,
Because of every revisit, 
All unveils, where I am to go,
Who am I to become, 
All in choice, whether be in hindsight,
Always forthright,  
All rehabilitating, to enliven, awaken, mend.
To resurrect backbone, fill with more light,
Appeasing my soul’s agreements,
And furthermore, live life to the fullest,
While I teach, train, study, learn of myself,
For myself, in service to my ode, my life,
All of me, I invest! 
To and for, all of the worlds inside out,
Upside down, I invest..
Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror
Gratefully invested in, all the treasures
I contain, You behold, earth & memories, carry.
We are conductors and illuminators,
Peacemakers, creators, game-changers,
Abundant with boundless resources,
Inside out and of course outside in,
Lean, get bent, arise, climb, burst,
Celebrate, Invest, we’re meritoriously,
Worth IT! (even upon recollection, all that
Lives there, all that is there, here, 
Proves nothing more and nothing less of,
Choice.)