Where, aware

“Where I am not,
Where I am, Now.”
Losing touch with the external,
Bustle and hustle,
I am wholly here,
Within the wholeness
Of presence, infused in the Now,
Because in all actuality,
Here is what we get.
This is all we have,
So in losing touch
With the external,
Of circumstances,
Of getting lost in the daily grind,
I know, I may have to bend outwards,
Just a bit, as we all live in a world,
That requires us to pay bills
And remain active to keep our home,
Food and so forth…
I will bend, but not break.
As to break I would become a compensator,
Part of the mass, hold very little individuality,
As to fit myself only,
Into complaints, explanations or validations,
To make outer ends meet,
Always set in the external,
Not of me that matters...
Losing touch with the external,
I am not losing touch of what’s expected,
Of us to live in “Reality.” 
Yet, we must bend both ways,
As to belong to each new moment,
All that we can offer,
And all that is offered to us.
Losing touch with all the conflict,
Losing touch with the outer
Of complications to listen and honor,
Other opinions, relied on so much,
That we lose ourselves in never feeling enough…
Miserable!
Why I have distanced myself
From the unachievable dissonance,
Always begging for me to conform to,
As to not think for myself, and do what
Is expected, rather than what I can honor,
In both… Losing touch,
With all that external noise,
I have deepened a better relationship
With myself, already, and always being enough.
No more bending till I break,
No more listening to the outer “Hoping that I will break,”
I will not be held up…
“Losing touch with reality,” you say,
I am not oblivious.
I am strengthening my relationship
With the Universe, inside of me,
Inside this world and out of this world,
As it all connects, everything connects.
Losing touch with messes that aren’t mine,
Soulfully centered/grounded,
I am invested and infused,
With here, now….
This is my work, my hearth, which moves,
Which evolves, changes, decides, becomes,
Through which I create and activate,
here... 
No judging, No apologizing, No missing!
Being now,
Is me holding every opportunity
As the moment offers,
I offer to give, share, create, Builds…
Lost touch in what is not within me,
To pave or change,
Gained insight,
Still gaining insight,
Re-discovering, refiguring, 
Consistently, here and here...
Choosing to be here now,
Having now, getting more of my now’s,
Now, no matter how oblivious
I seem or not seem,
That’s not in my control,
As it is however you see it, feel it,
Defines you, not me…
So I have lost touch with what matters to you,
That’s good, because my business,
Is my business…
Let me start with where I began,
“Losing touch with the external,
Bustle and hustle,
I am wholly here,
Within the wholeness
Of presence, infused in the Now,
Because in all actuality,
Here is what we get.”
Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror
All living potential lives
Beneath the chaos of the external,
I give my all,
Always, by being here,
Now!