This is my rise above

Dealing with  difficult / narcissistic people;
I will not treat people as they treat me,
I choose to rock a different vibe.
I will be assertive and hold up my boundaries.
Expecting they will ALWAYS meet me where they are…
And instead of letting them suck me in,
I will consistently choose to rise above however it needs done,
Even if I need many vent sessions,
To heal and hear my own truths.
Honoring that I’ve been down that soul sucking
Route before, getting all caught up with what
They think, what they say, and holding it above myself,
it's quite a damaging cycle,
Of not listening, not being heard and constantly seeking 
Outer validation, which is such a betrayal to my heart,
My mind, my wholeness and my path forward…
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I’m not saying that it doesn’t hurt,
That it doesn’t feel like being torn apart,
Because it does hurt, 
especially when it’s your family, or
Friends you grew up with.
Dedicated on misunderstanding you, smearing you,
Guilting you, shaming you, blaming you and 
them not holding themselves accountable, 
because they live to villainize you,
So they can play saint.
It fucking Hurts, but my belief is,
I will never, ever give them that gratification,
To their face, that will only ever, keep their supply
And ammunition locked and loaded,
Targeted right on us.
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I’ve learned that through years and years of being
A living disappointment to my mother..
So I will come across as a bitch, an asshole,
Standing firm on where my boundaries lay!
They will say “I’m the crazy one, “
and tell me “How I should be handling this,”
Offering me their routes, rules, papers, emails,
Phone calls, snail mail, trying to convince me “I’m wrong.”
Im wrong because after years of putting up with it,
They want me to participate, 
They want me to comply,
Fuck that, that was an endless cycle
Of degrading me, disapproving of me,
Breaking my spirit is way worse than breaking horses!
Plus after breaking, they still talk down to you,
Don’t believe anything you say and do,
If it doesn’t match what’s already in their heads..
It's a no win, never good enough, emotional,
Mental, verbal abusive cycle!
They will try to buy you, tempt you with fake change, 
Only to get loved bombed for a short while,
Good behavior for a blink, to reel you in,
To engage you, get back their supply…
Shitty in all its array.
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Most of the time we redundantly repeat ourselves,
With our boundaries,
Try to speak in ways they’d appreciate,
Show kind gestures even if its at a distance,
 Speak kindly but firmly,
Most of the time, NONE of that resonates with them.
So “Vulgar words,” come out,
Because enough is enough,
Done playing this crappy game,
No matter how we act, say, think, wish, yearn,
What we give isn't enough..
Seriously no matter how much we
Stress and try, they will not receive or get us..
So, *Fuck you, fuck off, and stay the fuck out,*
Whether we say it aloud, 
Whether our actions show it,
Whether we just back off and disappear,
No matter how we honor each phrase,
They will feel attacked, and you are in the wrong…
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I will not treat people as they treat me,
I choose to rock a different vibe.
I will be assertive and hold up my boundaries,
And I will walk away, hang up, ignore, and protect
My peace, my truth, my present, my future..
I will never, ever give them that gratification,
Or satisfaction to see me emotionally destroyed…
Nope, they burnt that bridge,
That chapter, that book, that connection,
I will honor what I know I deserve.
I don’t need their witnessing, their input, 
Their level, their any of it, or their permission,
This is my life, mine all mine.
-
I accept that we will never have the relationship
They think we should have.
I accept and respect them as they are,
But that doesn’t mean I have to allow them in my world,
Or put up with all their conditions.
I accept that their definition of family and love differs from mine.
I respect, uphold, and believe wholeheartedly, “ To each their own.”
And to each they have their own,
So shall I without all that perpetual hell.
Standing up for MY OWN,
Rising above how I deem fit,
And quite honestly,
I will not stoop, it's not worth it!!!
My life and my self value,
IS NOT WORTH
ANOTHER BATTLE with TOXICITY
That is my RISE ABOVE.
My Rise above doesn’t include them, 
To get it done.
Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror2023