Stop talking yourself out of your worth...

“No more Discouraging Yourself”
Suppression,
Is self-harming,
Is tormenting the self,
Is self-sabotage,
Is performing constant denial.
It’s a way to lure,
Distract, suppress,
Ignore, overlook, 
Neglecting issues,
Delving into fears,
Worries, delusions,
Targeting yourself.
As to punish yourself,
For, ever feeling this,
For, ever making those mistakes,
Unable to accept,
Unable to deal with,
As busying yourself,
Only prolongs both the depth
Of the pain, and cuts us much more deeply…
Procrastinating,
Making excuses,
To keep the burden inside,
Always activated...
Yes it’s your call,
Your life,
Your body,
Your problems,
Your issues,
Your secrets,
But the misery
Exuding darkness
Around you,
From within you,
I see it, hurting you so much more,
Then it flares up around me...
Even though you are attempting,
To pull the facade that all is well,
I can tell you are lying…
Lying, being dishonest to others,
As you are being towards yourself,
Is abusive,
Is self-harm,
Is allowing yourself,
And all your potential,
Be fulfilled by suffering,
Rather than be freed,
Choosing weights to kill you as you live,
Burns you down,
Though you have condensed like lingering fog.
I can sense all the pain,
You choose to deny,
Not uncover,
And choose repeatedly,
To disguise…
Masks restrict, suffocate, kill,
Murder who we want to become,
Who we could become,
By not letting us think we even have a chance…
Life is not supposed to be torture,
In my own words, 
Which I live,
I sense all this misery,
Clouded confusion,
Infusions of fear,
Fear to be real,
Fear of being rejected,
Fear of being hurt,
Fear ridden,
Fear suppressed,
Fear not being faced,
Fear leading.
I understand needing to figure things out
On our own,
But torturing yourself,
Holds no appropriate cause,
But holds you hostage, limited….
You don’t think yourself worthy,
You don’t think others sense your worth,
Everything here, in this area,
Wraps around us like fun-house mirrors,
Giving angles that hold no truth,
Exaggerated stretched out fictions,
As to provoke belief,
As to derail us,
Misled, misleading us wins….
When there is so much of us hidden
By suppression, we don’t know who to believe,
Who to rely on, confused, disoriented,
And when that too gets suppressed,
We think we are no one…
We are someone,
Even if you show no care of that person,
Within you,
Even when no one else shows that care,
It doesn’t change,
The true source,
We are always someone…
Even the layers we have buried ourselves
Within, is someone,
Maybe someone we used to be,
Someone that had some heavy stuff happen,
Someone that made the wrong choices,
Someone that lost, gained, forgot, mourned,
Angered, learned from, gave them a lesson to learn,
Backfired, always someone,
At all those given moments,
Doing the best we could at the time,
Upset, and never feeling ever ready to love or
Forgive those pieces…..
All of that which we contain 
Can and will haunt us,
Their repercussions,
Our repercussions,
Surface, constrict and attract…
Suppression is not the easy route,
Though it is easier to slip a mask on,
A front, doesn’t mean we escape it,
Because when we are all alone 
Or even meanwhile with friends,
Those wounds narrate,
Dictate, presume, resume,
Just unconsciously, habitualized our so called, life.
Our schedule, our routines, our reactions, our responses,
Our thinking, our believing, all contributes
To which we live and act out upon,
Shaping our lifestyles, our relationships,
Our interpersonal lives, all of what is going on,
Behind those eyes, within your intentions, motives, 
Excrete our pains, our darkness,
Our yuck, into every fiber, nook and cranny of
What we make of this life,
In all our yesterdays, now and forward…
That is what plays into the popular excuse and phrase,
“Same old, Same kind of Day.”
Exudes and draws from the universe,
All that then some more unnecessary crap,
Pending on what we are dwelling on,
Pending on what we hide,
Torturing ourselves only more,
Causing havoc, 
Self-harming,
Spiraling,
And making us more destructive,
Distinctly putrid oozing,
Projecting, becoming lethal,
Growing in ripples, undercover…
Piece by piece,
Picking up, 
You can rearrange,
You can redirect,
Reprogram yourself,
Heal piece by piece,
Just as if each were only a step,
No matter how long it takes,
Changing, by facing, admitting,
Redirecting, replaces the default into
Something that will take a different course,
A new route, that becomes a new, better, 
And healthier way to live…
It is possible,
You will always be someone,
No matter which way you go,
You do matter,
That stuff within you,
Need validated,
Not invalidated,
By suppression…
You matter,
That chaos and conflict within you,
Matters, validate, with love,
Listen, see, accept,
Rearrange the way the pain tries to stop you,
Deal with it, because it's you,
Stopping you…
You need to grow,
You want to grow,
You aspire to grow,
You want change,
Give yourself the chances,
The opportunities maybe no one else gave you,
Give that gift to yourself,
Step up, grant yourself permission
To be human, messy, healing what you can,
What matters right now,
Knowing when too much is beyond what you can,
At the moment,
And being okay with it, without comparing,
Only making connections,
Let yourself breathe…
Things will get better,
Only when you choose,
To let better begin and be followed through now…
You take a stand for no one to disrespect your friends,
Your family, and forget yourself!
It’s time to include yourself in that,
Start with having more respect for yourself,
The roads here, the dead-ends here,
The boulders that still pop up,
Being here, You are here,
You just read this novel,
Allow it all to sink in,
Digest what pertains to you,
Realize in any resonance this may have for you,
That burn, that sting, that moment something clicked,
Something felt like it was written for you,
To you, notice the resonance,
Is you telling you,
Change is here,
Ready happens when you connect,
Different outcomes,
Become, through connection…
The steps appear on their own,
Just a we breathe in, we breathe out,
It just naturally happens,
Don’t be giving yourself deadlines,
Ridiculous expectations,
Leave the labels out,
Just observe to connect,
Feel to free,
Realize to walk away,
So healing can become who you are now,
And forward… No more speculating,
Finger pointing, projecting,
Suppression doesn’t protect us,
Healing does prevent and protect…
You matter,
Lessons are served,
Learn from them,
Pick a part the layers,
Stop beating yourself up!
You got this,
In this day and age,
There are immeasurable ways,
Tools, and resources, 
Always within our reach,
Just as We each as we are,
YOU are someone, make yourself matter…
Makes all that was, 
Matter most now, for who we want to be,
To emerge, and for who we need to be,
Become and thrive, now…
I love you, 
I accept you,
I am so grateful for your light, your darkness,
Sharing who you had to be,
Who you thought you had to be,
Who they tried to make you be,
How they didn’t win,
How they will never win again,
How you made you better,
How you won, because you have proved, 
Yourself wrong,
By making You matter!
That is the biggest accomplishment ever,
A lot of people never do that,
I applaud you!
Thank you for being here,
Being in charge of your life, your joy, your route,
I am so grateful to be here,
With you, moving forward into every next now we have,
Giving our all…
Thank you and You are not alone,
Melissa Palmer ©  Evolving Mirror 
Your Path will always be yours…