No more underestimating

We underestimate ourselves!
The power of a smile,
A gesture, a talk, a connection,
The giving of kindness,
Love, time, presence,
The giving of tears, frustrations,
Sorrow, expectations,
Of being ourselves,
Serving one another through the sharing of experience...
Somehow all that crap of thinking for ourselves,
Comes with this heavy programming,
That we are not enough,
That one person can not bring change,
Impact, these massive fears,
Leading to doubting,
Leading us to betray our instincts,
Our ability to touch one life,
Maybe more, because we have ingrained,
Ourselves to the past and so many people
That told us otherwise,
We are still banking on this punishment
Like thinking, believing, way of being,
That nothing we do, nothing we are,
Nothing is ever good enough…
We are so very immensely wrong!
Wrong about ourselves,
Wrong about it all,
When I realized this,
Was last night, I connected to 
This not receiving mode,
Because of not feeling I was good enough,
To receive, because I felt what I was doing,
Am doing is so small… It’s not 
It’s huge, and into this I began to question
What internal dialog, script was I allowing…
Fear, and the strings that come attached
With that, doubt, shame, the inability to receive good,
Because in fear I restrict as in limit myself,
For no good cause, because I underestimate
The good I give,
The good I share,
The good I am,
The good we all are,
Because of a lump of excuses,
We like to call reasons,
Example of this falsey,
Is that “All men are assholes,”
Coming from women who have 
Had bad experiences,
Rules out that there is any man,
Out there in the world good,
Because of several experiences,
Not at all taking into awareness,
Their actions, their projections,
Realizing, it is those women who
Felt the entire time “they weren’t good enough.”
So they never changed that internal dialog,
Or their actions, because of in denial,
Because they believe one person can not change,
Their impact on the world.
Another example is “ Women are all sluts,
They are here for physical and visual pleasure.”
No one is just here for that,
People just never question,
The layers beneath that led these men into believing that,
How much hurt, how much pain, 
Maybe even more so what they are projecting 
Is from some experience that justifies this,
Left unquestioned… 
Seems we all have been faced or cornered by fear,
Fear to be accepted, loved, nurtured, forgiven,
Cared about, by none other,
Than our own selves, 
never questioning our programming,
Never being really aware,
Never really applying what we learn,
Just further following fear,
And allowing all the twists, stabs, wounds,
Be what divides us and cuts us into tiny little pieces,
So we never truly grow, change, be as by birthright,
Good enough..
We are underestimating ourselves,
Each other, segregating, isolating,
Projecting, receptors of history,
Punishing ourselves and each other,
By not questioning all that makes us human,
All that goes on within us day in and day out…
We complicate ourselves,
To never give or get what we want,
Led by fear… 
Fear that we are actually good enough,
Fear that we must always perfect ourselves,
Hide ourselves, let no one know because if they knew,
They would, and then all these fear ridden imaginable
What If’s fill the space further supporting not being good enough,
In constant replay just keeps playing.
What we overcame, 
what is inside of us we are constantly dealing with,
Is preventing us, 
From appreciating another and our-self,

Taking the compliment without thinking
We have to give more out of us,
Placing more conditions and requirements to ourselves,
So even that can not be enjoyed,
Because we think we did nothing,
There’s no way I am deserving of compliments,
What are their motives, there’s always an ulterior motive,
We are really self harming, when we only listen and are guided,
By fear...
To be loving every lesson, every person for the pain and hurt
They projected on us,or we projected onto them,
That shook us out of continuing to allow, and then remarkably,
Realizing our self worth, walking away, getting away,
Changing, paving new, heart centered life, 
A life we only dreamed was possible….
Oh no let’s ruin that too, with our thinking, believing,
Oh, that’s easier said than done, right,
No way, I was raised this way, I am not the one who needs to change,
It's their fault so they need to fix it, blah blah, blame,
Shame, disowning that we have anything to do to heal this,
Grow from this, following fear once again,
Because fear is comfortable, fear has constantly proved to be right,
Blah blah, all the excuses that we aren’t worth pursuing even ourselves,
Our dreams, our lessons, our growth, our healing…
We underestimate,
All potential,
By giving into this diabolical speculated,
Bullshitery,
That inherently,
Our worth is earned,
Our respect is earned,
Our trust is earned,
Our love is earned,
Everything good,
Everything bad,
If earned, conditional,
And if it comes through in any other form,
It's not real,
There are walls built for this,
There are billions of bullshit excuses,
We take as fact,
Because to accept that someone was touched by 
Our sharing of experience or by what we said, did etc…
We would feel its unearned,
Because in this day and age,
Everything can only be earned,
Earned, not unconditionally given,
Shared, received…
We have to earn Everything, we have been conditioned,
To not allowing a compliment,
Not believing one life could be better because of you,
or vice versa,
Because we do not earn it,
Because we follow fear,
Lead from fear,
Believe fear,
We are not worth anything good,
Without earning it through 
Punishment, through hard work,
Through barely making it here,
Through our inside outer filters,
That are skewed and perfect by fear,
Almost killing ourselves, because that is how,
We think, we get to earn it.. 
Because Fear said so,
We HAVE to earn,
Kindness, appreciation, love,
truth/trust, connection, forgiveness,
Respect, validation, being heard,
To be able to have it, and then for us to prove
It’s too good to be true,
All of this is always temporary,
Nothing lasts, except this self-sabotage
We buy into, let consume us, drain us,
Wreck us, isn’t done to us by anyone,
But us…
Love is unconditional,
Respect is unconditional,
Trust needs to be unconditional too,
We all have to process and question these fears,
This default navigation system,
Is not relevant or serving us to our highest good…
One person can change their world,
Discomfort is part of change, growth,
Evolution, celebrating, cultivating 
Our deserving by just being,
Owning our stories,
Honing ourselves,
Honoring our hearts,
Finding our way,
Discovering more,
Becoming more aware,
More conscious of our contribution 
To which ever way we feel, we fail, we believe,
We repeat, we use, we are our renewing
Refuge, our renewing resource,
Our worth-fullness,

Isn’t up for grabs,
Isn’t only for the people outside of us,
Its limitless,
Its unconditional plenty,
It is within us, all of us,
But we have to remember,
Not to underestimate ourselves,
And what we are always offering,
To others, what we need to offer to ourselves…
We are deserving,
We are more than enough,
We are amazingly, phenomenal,
And our lives do touch other lives,
Get better at this,
Accepting, loving, appreciating ourselves,
Each other, because inherently,
We are good,
Spread that light, love, 
Let that be your guide,
Let that be our lead,
Let you be what changes,
The mentality and dialog,
That actually is the only think 
That shapes our world,
Cultivate your knowing of thsi worth,
This is what gives, shares, ripples,
Delights, the world receives,
Because you are worth it,
We are worth it,
The world is worth it,
And yes, you earned it,
By birth, by remembering,
By sharing your light,
By being your light,
No matter how many dead-ends,

No matter how long or what pace,
We are worthy…
Be love, be you,
Be the change you wish to see in the world,
Because as you are,
Matters to the entire universe,
And appreciate this,
Now, and always forward,
Because that is how we cultivate,
More and more to become of now,
Through us,
Through love,
Through the ever expansion of experience,
Through never underestimating our worth,
Because fear would like us to live miserably,
Choose love, choose you, choose awareness…
You matter just as much as everyone else!
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you...
  Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror