Honestly, I have hesitated, I have posted and deleted off my page so often, thinking people will assume I am being selfish for posting my blessings wish list, and my husband keeps reminding me its my past negative reactions to previous experiences of shame, and then I get another aha experience of, letting go, to forgive and heal those wounds, that programming inside of me, trying to still sabotage myself.. So in bravery, to overcome my critic, wishing the best of myself to be okay asking for some nice things for my family,
without feeling there will be strings attached externally, or expectations that i didn't earn these things, I realize the many years before of people pleasing, and allowing myself to be manipulated by narcissists, before I knew what they were, and how to stop the dysfunction. Those scars are still managing to disturb my thinking, my believing, and the way I view myself asking for something, so in whole truth, here I am in combat with myself to continue my healing, continuing to debug myself, allowing myself to let go of the past, To overcome my old narrative, to keep growing, getting healthier and healthier… So despite the much adversity going on within me, I bare my self Open, leaving my wish list, as to leave open the option for more good to come into my life, to quiet my own judgements, to heal, to grow, to move forward, I am worth it… Here it is;
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Writer:
I am originally from British Columbia Canada, but have lived in Iowa, USA, for most of my life. Mom of four, Married. Hello, I am Archives
May 2023
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