|
Dealing with difficult / narcissistic people;
I will not treat people as they treat me, I choose to rock a different vibe. I will be assertive and hold up my boundaries. Expecting they will ALWAYS meet me where they are… And instead of letting them suck me in, I will consistently choose to rise above however it needs done, Even if I need many vent sessions, To heal and hear my own truths. Honoring that I’ve been down that soul sucking Route before, getting all caught up with what They think, what they say, and holding it above myself, it's quite a damaging cycle, Of not listening, not being heard and constantly seeking Outer validation, which is such a betrayal to my heart, My mind, my wholeness and my path forward… - I’m not saying that it doesn’t hurt, That it doesn’t feel like being torn apart, Because it does hurt, especially when it’s your family, or Friends you grew up with. Dedicated on misunderstanding you, smearing you, Guilting you, shaming you, blaming you and them not holding themselves accountable, because they live to villainize you, So they can play saint. It fucking Hurts, but my belief is, I will never, ever give them that gratification, To their face, that will only ever, keep their supply And ammunition locked and loaded, Targeted right on us. - I’ve learned that through years and years of being A living disappointment to my mother.. So I will come across as a bitch, an asshole, Standing firm on where my boundaries lay! They will say “I’m the crazy one, “ and tell me “How I should be handling this,” Offering me their routes, rules, papers, emails, Phone calls, snail mail, trying to convince me “I’m wrong.” Im wrong because after years of putting up with it, They want me to participate, They want me to comply, Fuck that, that was an endless cycle Of degrading me, disapproving of me, Breaking my spirit is way worse than breaking horses! Plus after breaking, they still talk down to you, Don’t believe anything you say and do, If it doesn’t match what’s already in their heads.. It's a no win, never good enough, emotional, Mental, verbal abusive cycle! They will try to buy you, tempt you with fake change, Only to get loved bombed for a short while, Good behavior for a blink, to reel you in, To engage you, get back their supply… Shitty in all its array. - Most of the time we redundantly repeat ourselves, With our boundaries, Try to speak in ways they’d appreciate, Show kind gestures even if its at a distance, Speak kindly but firmly, Most of the time, NONE of that resonates with them. So “Vulgar words,” come out, Because enough is enough, Done playing this crappy game, No matter how we act, say, think, wish, yearn, What we give isn't enough.. Seriously no matter how much we Stress and try, they will not receive or get us.. So, *Fuck you, fuck off, and stay the fuck out,* Whether we say it aloud, Whether our actions show it, Whether we just back off and disappear, No matter how we honor each phrase, They will feel attacked, and you are in the wrong… - I will not treat people as they treat me, I choose to rock a different vibe. I will be assertive and hold up my boundaries, And I will walk away, hang up, ignore, and protect My peace, my truth, my present, my future.. I will never, ever give them that gratification, Or satisfaction to see me emotionally destroyed… Nope, they burnt that bridge, That chapter, that book, that connection, I will honor what I know I deserve. I don’t need their witnessing, their input, Their level, their any of it, or their permission, This is my life, mine all mine. - I accept that we will never have the relationship They think we should have. I accept and respect them as they are, But that doesn’t mean I have to allow them in my world, Or put up with all their conditions. I accept that their definition of family and love differs from mine. I respect, uphold, and believe wholeheartedly, “ To each their own.” And to each they have their own, So shall I without all that perpetual hell. Standing up for MY OWN, Rising above how I deem fit, And quite honestly, I will not stoop, it's not worth it!!! My life and my self value, IS NOT WORTH ANOTHER BATTLE with TOXICITY That is my RISE ABOVE. My Rise above doesn’t include them, To get it done. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror2023
0 Comments
(Warning; Many Cuss words, vent session)
Fuck, how society and people that say they know us, Or knew us but labels us, ‘As damsels in distress, crazy, Liars, faking crisis for attention, When we put our feet down, Calling us Bitches and Sluts,’ When we’re saying “Hell No, you can’t treat me like this!” Fuck NO, you aren’t allowed to treat me like this! - To anyone who tells me Im broken, Tells me I am crazy, Telling me that I am fucked up, Because I swear, because I don't fit in your tiny boxes, Because I am not ladylike, or because I don't handle things like it's expected of me to. Fuck off, Please! Stop projecting your filtered perception, And your baggage at me, Hold your eyes, ears and mouth ACCOUNTABLE.. I am whole even if my emotions scatter. I am whole even when I see through your BULLSHIT. I am whole even when I am broken hearted. I am no damsel in distress, and will never be! I am different then you, but not crazy, Maybe weird, but not a liar and pulling a pity Party for attention,. - I follow and honor my OWN truths. Real fucking tired of the judgements, The hypocritical rules with double standards, And old mentality of “Doing what you say not what I do,” Behaving obedient to someone outside of me. Fuck those lies you say to comfort, support and enable The toxicity, I outgrew all that shit - I am not any less of a person because of my “Colorful Language.” I will never be your doormat, I will never be broken, I will never fit into your ideals, I have learned from all of my experiences… I know Damn well, HOW TO bend, lean and duck, To keep all that unnecessary drama and input, The fuck away from me. I will forever stand up on my own, And think for myself, Thank you! Here I am, Lighting my inner torch of truth, Get out of my way, Or get burnt/offended, I don’t care anymore, when I cared you all trapped me. You are not my Dictator, you have no power, no control, Please choose to dictate yourself, Kindly, as I walk the fuck out of your life. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror2023 You are not my people or tribe. I go where unconditional Love Follows And follows through. On the mend,
So many of us, From one thing or another, Said or unsaid, Still recovering… Adjusting, Rebuilding, Focusing on what is essential, at this very time, To strengthen ourselves, To balance ourselves, To reeducate ourselves, Enough to keep moving, Meanwhile the world around us buzzing For our attention as well. On the mend Each of us all are, From something, That we experienced or made impact on us, That we engaged in, May we take the time needed To recover means to unload the weight, It carries on us, To assess, and try to bring about Some kind of livable harmony. That is the moment by moment, Task and trial at hand. May we take gentle or fierce, strides, Honoring ourselves and knowing That things will most definitely pop up, To challenge you, to test how forward your motion is, To wake you up, show you where your focus is or isn’t, To shake, rattle and roll you, To work on yourself, your beliefs, your past actions, Choices and behavior.. Reflect, reframe, find some resolution that may Not be perfect, but will work at this time to Clear the hurdle, but also will empower YOU so, You can redirect. May you find your speed, May you find some relief to keep you healing, And growing, and may your mend be whole. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror2023 Today is the Day,
When I realize that pushing myself Yesterday requires a rest day today. Making sure I can give my all, Sometimes it is so exhausting. May we honor our bodies, Our minds, our souls, Without pressuring, Ourselves to be what society calls, “Productive:” Honoring what productive may mean On a rest and relax day or moment, When we relinquish outer voices and demands, To honor that Today is going to be A slow day, gentle, compassionate one, So that another day, We can be full force.. May We always honor Our Bodies, Our Minds, Our Souls, That sometimes our capacity To go go GO, Just needs, us to NO, No no… Blessings in either case, Honor you as you deem fit. Have a Blessed Day Today! Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror2023 To remerge after a long juggle,
To come back to ourselves and our loves, To those we missed, To transform ourselves out of whatever took us away, To transmute our pains into vigorous outbursts Of real, of fire, of inspired action, Still a little burnt, Still a bit wounded, Still a bit rough, Still a bit wobbly, Still a bit out of it, Still a bit raw, Still a little cautious, Partially scared, But also gaining the fearlessness and confidence, Within the Pride, To not only say, “ I made it,” But be actually living it. Sharing it with others, Illuminating from inside, Creating the rippling infectiously, From showing up, For myself first, Then others, Filling my cup and refilling it again and again, Throughout the day, all day long, Each day forward, Encouraging myself to break wide open, As long as I can… The best reward ever, Giving that to not just myself, But sharing it with you, Elates me, Enlivens me, Keep’s me here.. Thank you for being with me, Thank you for being here still, Thank you, us.. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror2023 To remerge and knowing I am not finished healing yet, To come back anyway, To reconnect, To be transformed within ‘our coming out,’ To transmute our pains into vigorous outbursts Of real, of fire, of inspired action, Emerging from our cocoon, Is ever so grounding, centering, And wholeheartedly a Blessing. Sometimes
We Just Need To Slow down, Allowing our presence To observe, To chill, To unwind, To embody, Obliging to our soul or heart tugs… Sometimes We Just Need To Surrender to our own nature, Our own season switching, Being considerate to ourselves For ourselves, at this very real And present moment… Sometimes The more we resist This everchanging presence need, The worse it gets for us, To find that much needed “Me Time.” So taking it as it comes, Allowing our hurry to slow down, To preserve ourselves, To recollect, To appreciate, To sustain, To provide space, Perhaps not to heal, But regain our strength, Our perspective, Our thoughts, What needs done, Or some strategy that needs reframed, Or just to catch your breath.. Sometimes We Just Need What We Need, At a more graceful and softer speed, To be fulfilled, To be be lived, And savored. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror2023 When I originally opened my journal
To the world it was 2013, I ignored the voices inside of me, My mother’s voice and people that wanted me to Not blare my truths and experiences, Because they were scared of how they would look, Because they felt I would villainize them. They were discouraging me, They were telling me how’d I fail, ‘How there’s no money in prose, How is this a job?’ I ignored them, Honoring what I felt compelled to share, Without caring for their approval anymore or their validation, And that became their source to smear me, Throughout the entire time I had my old account, Which turned from one follower to 37K, Totally impacted me plus surprised me, And proved to me, my gut was right. My instincts were right, (Those haters) They weren’t my people… Blood or not, They are not my tribe!! That sabbatical I took, Unpublished myself, Put my website on pause, Then shortly after that, My world came crashing Down on me, The only person in my world at that point of my life, Of my Blood, Died.. My dad died, and suddenly everything flipped for me, I stopped writing completely, I only watercolor painted, Eventually I drifted away from all my creative outlets. I lost myself in who I was now, without him.. It’s been almost two and a half years, Of struggling, of healing, of putting distance from Toxic abusive relations, full of mean, rude, unsolicited nagging, Shoulds, and how dare you “he abandoned you” crap, To realize, what was holding me back and what my blockage Was… It was her, it was her voice in my head, It was all this guilt tripping, gaslighting, shaming, blaming me, ulterior motive type of manipulations, I was her walking & talking trigger, I was her scapegoat… Just because she has her ideals, And trying to put me in that box of hers, It was blocking me from my own thinking, My own way of being, My own way to heal and grieve… I learned so much about my blood family In the wake of my dad’s death, And learned to redefine what family means to me, And how my Dad accepted me for me, Flaws, quirks and all, He showed me to show up for myself, “Fuck her, fuck what she says,” my dad would say and remind me, Because he was married to her, And somehow my mother brainwashed me to believe he was scorned, Bitter about how it was all his fault ‘Because He hit me,’ the lie she told Me to milk sympathy, and have power over me, because I was her daughter. Oh man the truths that get revealed in the most ugliest of ways, Throughout life and after someone you love dies, The grudges bear themselves, with “ I told you he was going to die, I knew it,” and all these hurtful damaging cruel words and actions, that showed me that everything I was told to believe my entire life, lies and exaggerations, to make her look good. And made my dad look bad, my entire upbringing tainted, by her repainting everything, utilizing her playing favorites to use my siblings either for or against me, all my life. I wish I knew better, way before my dad died. How much all this shit could have been prevented, And My Dad fought hard to get my brother and I, And was constantly defeated… I am done and tired with all the judgements about, “Oh she is your mom, you’re one and only mom,” Yeah she’s my birth mother, But it's the most toxic relationship I have ever had in my life. Every success I had she took credit for, “Oh you got that from me, oh and this you got it from me,’ and so forth robbing me of my own accomplishments. My Brother thinks I’m cool, and celebrates what I do, as our relationship is mutually loved, cherished, and celebrated. As for My Dad, He accepted me, Was proud of me, No matter how shitty my life was at the moment, He knew I could turn it around, he had faith in me, And both my Dad/Brother loved me unconditionally.. I wasn’t ever good enough for her, I was raised that I had to be a certain way to be loved, Act a certain way to get to see my siblings, Do as she wanted, talk only about what she wanted, She built me into a people pleaser, Enabling me for a very hard life, all my life.. Until I knew better, And knew I couldn’t have her in my life whatsoever.. Just as my Dad warned me. OMG how death reveals, How fucked up people really are and always have been.. The masks have all fallen off now. Wow, that was quite a lot of shit to unpack, Meanwhile losing my Dad, a huge part of my identity, And a lot to work through, to unpack, sort, be accountable for my actions, words and thoughts, to move forward, forgive, and love myself through.. Bit By Bit, I started to come back, To my creative outlets, That my dad loved so much about me, That made me, well me.. I am re-emerging, Totally Unfiltered, Not a people pleaser anymore, although my finger points at her, Visualize if you will, The finger that points at her, Is also my middle finger, Strung up with Dad’s spirit, In accordance to my forward walk, Telling her to fuck off and fuck you. - Best said, by ― Anne Lamott “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” - Onwards and Upwards, Here I am, Back to writing, Creating, listening to only myself again, and some of what Dad said too.. Writing my own Legacy. Leading from Spirit, Forward, Thank you Dad, For rekindling my heart and soul, Back into my own skin. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror2023 Those types of people don’t scare me anymore, You do not threaten my peace or my drive anymore. You never listened, cared enough to do anything outside of your comfort zones, And there you shall stay.. I love myself more than enough to see through That Bullshit, and I have faith I can get further in life, Without YOU. I don’t need you anymore, the damage toll Was enough. Thank you for helping me realize I can do better… So I am, oh and I’m Back, stronger than you have ever witnessed!! Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror2023 (please forgive me for any typos) The novels
My skin holds, That has clung to my vessel, (For oh so long) Screaming many stories all at once, Hoping I’d fall back into one, So they can resume writing my life… Oh how pissed off they are that, I've evolved without letting them catch up… Oh how sad it is that I'm not falling for their crap.. And how crazy I am to consistently Be starting over, scrap that chapter and changing directions. The chronicles of my past, How they attempt to stir me, Shift me backwards and Fail every time… The novels my skin held onto, From time to time echos aloud in my mind, Reminding of what was, Now will never be… And so I laugh turning inward, I say, “ You thought you got the best of me But you didn’t. I have the best of me, It's still going and growing.” Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror2023 (I am not done yet!) Life
is only as Good as YOU will it to be through your active Beliefs… Actions, Life is a Verb! Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror2023 Our Needs;
Need to refuel, Don’t procrastinate, get at it. Need extra loves, Voice it to yourself and answer in actions if that’s what is needed. Need something, Ask ! Need to vent, Channel the vent through something creative. Need Ideas, Explore, Open your Curiosity. Need to be heard, but no one is around, Jot it down, respond to yourself. Need to zone out, Pick up a book, turn up some good tunes. Need to restore, Unplug with or without and explanation, Honor what you need at that very moment, To get through. Need to laugh, The internet is full of outlets of laughter to be found. Need to cry, Honor that experience, hug or scream into a pillow, Let it out… Need to say, “Fuck it!” Say it then.. Need reminders to motivate and empower, Look around you, make your own affirmations, Paint it in a picture, write it down, Use lipstick or a marker put it on a mirror, Tell yourself, or call a friend you can rely on to be helpful… Need anything, Take a walk, ride a bike, exercise, do something about right away, Even if it requires us to wait, Fill your time waiting with something that can be done, now. It’s not about marinating unless that in fact is what you need, It's about filling your time, Getting what you need done, Rebuilding the trust and faith in yourself, So you count on YOU, To show up and be there for yourself, Especially when no one else is available at the moment. Give, take and share what you need, And notice that sometimes, It's a gift to give ourselves, When it surfaces, an instant consistent gratification, Kind of magic, We get gifts from ourselves to ourselves, Through honoring our needs, right away, And more often than we think we can. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror2023 Because of our past experiences,
Traumas, mistakes, and life events that were not Within our control to prevent, We are not unfit, unworthy, unimportant, Fucked up beyond recognition, or broken. Unfit as in, Undeserving of the right to change, Undeserving of the right to be here With a past and a fragmented self, We are still learning to face and bring loving light Into, as we heal each day. Unworthy as in all the echoes in our mind, Playing trickery with us through nit picking Our memories, our flashbacks, And criticizing us, to defeat us. Unimportant as in how other made us feel, And how we continue to project that onto ourselves, Not realizing just yet that we are repeating those things, In our own beliefs and narratives. Fucked up beyond recognition, As in we have gotten so buried, so lost, so confused, So burdened, we can’t hear our own thoughts- feelings- etc, or see ourselves or feel ourselves, as all the yesterdays overwhelm us. Broken as we see ourselves this way, Because something has to be wrong with us for all that shit to have happened to us, Broken because we feel stupid for not catching something sooner, And the toll of damage exceeds our capacity to understand, To walk away from it, or run from ourselves in denial.. Because we have had a rough life, Because we had some harsh experiences, We’ve changed, we’ve hardened to self preserve What little we think is left of us. Because we think we are so insufficient, faulty, impaired, That this is just ‘How it’s gonna be.” Somehow we just think, If we stay hidden, Maintaining our past scripts, Biding our time, our life, Because lots of these experiences Repeated, so we believe we have no chance, Not worth the work, Not worth it whatsoever, This is me, Accept that or else.. Erratic lashing outs, Strong limited opinions, Accustomed to this treatment, They treated me this way, I treat myself this way, So no matter what kindness comes my way, I am going to shut it down, Disbelieve, imprison myself From learning from my experiences, Debilitate myself from growth, Because I am not worth it. We are resourceful, it is built into our DNA! We are adaptable, as we’ve adapted to abuse, abusive narratives, and/or life events, lessons, we can adapt to changing our view, Our thoughts, our feelings, our words, and our actions. We are fighters, drawing upon strengths we didn’t even know we had, In the faces of adversities and uncertainties. We are fully capable to change, to determine what is good for us And discern what isn’t good for us. We are built to withstand Living Our Lives, Best we can, meanwhile making mistakes, Learning from all those experiences, And to still be standing here, living and breathing, alive! Realize that this, Proves your worth it, Proves your fit, Proves your significance, Proves you have not been broken or defeated Enough to not be here, PRESENT and accounted for, Proves You are still whole, Proves you have done a lot of work, Proves you still have work to do, Proves there’s a lot of you, still here, Still worth fighting for, Still worth having a wondrous Life to be lived, Without all the negative, abusive narratives, Being the author of your life, By you still being here alive, Proves that You can do this, You can will yourself into a better reality, A more fulfilling life. Because despite your internal dialogue, Your strength to overcome, Brought you to where you are now, Realizing that shit show, Doesn’t serve you well, It dims you, it cripples you, It gives away your power to change. Upholding those experiences As the only way, isn’t the way for you and YOU know IT!. Make new memories, Create, less toxic environments inside and around you, And Giving yourself the most magnificent possibilities, Are within your abilities such as; Your resourcefulness, Your persistence, Your strength, Your amazingness, Your importance, Your agility, Your resilience, Is your hope, faith, You can trust and use to empower you, To compel you forward, Because these have already been proven to you, Because YOU have lived through all of it thus far. You can change things, You can maneuver yourself into a new direction, You can change what that dialogue is, You can see yourself better, Treat yourself better, Because YOU are 100% worth it. It’s time to believe in yourself again! I believe in YOU, because I’ve went through this, And reflecting back reminds me how powerful that journey was, And to this day I carry with myself, My abilities to overcome, as do you, without changing anything. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror2023 You can’t sustain wilting, But you can sustain Flourishing. There’s a way out, and you will find it, You will succeed. YOU are Resourceful! I own this!
What I have been working on with myself is; Compassion for myself and others, Respect what it means to me, Knowing that everyone deserves respect As they are and not trying to change that, or make them conform to me, So that I am more comfortable with their truths.. Honoring to each their own, More presence in my experiences- good, bad, ugly and shitty… Allowing, as an embrace to let let flow, Not resisting, No more I can’ts, No more excuses! More truth, More loud blurts of thoughts, opinions, cares, worries, fears, As to observe, reflect, re-work, My mindset, My defaults, My ability to change by choice, Forgiving myself right away, Not waiting for my inner critic to nit pick me, And saying no more, enough is enough.. When my plate is full, I am working on letting that be all that I am working on, When time frees up again, I will take other things on… Which means I am working on shame, Guilt and my empath sensitivities to absorb other people's problems, Without allowing my past to manipulate me into saying yes, when I want to say no.. Eradicating the people pleasing, Acting how others want me to, Only talking about what they want to hear, And not saying sorry for me being ME… What are some things you are working on? You don’t have to tell me, But, do celebrate each part, What you think, say, do, change, give, share, Everything were working on, Or have overcome, Sometimes need voiced, To acclimate ourselves further into Our investment… May You Celebrate each piece, Like a huge victory it is, On your journey. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror2023 “Hey, I’m not perfect, but I will always be a masterpiece, In progress, while processing!” The Older I get,
The more unfiltered I have gotten, Which directly connects, To the experiences and truths I’ve endured, and I know I'm still growing… *The older I get, The more empowered I am to unapologetically, Speak my mind, Speak my heart, Speak my soul, Even if it comes across as Inconsiderate, I do sincerely care, About what I do care about.* More importantly, I’ve learned that wisdom Keeps revisiting me, To remind me where To not blurt or screech my voice box. We all have boundaries, Of what We give, take and share, But now, to this very day, I don’t hold back anymore, It all comes spilling out, And if I am still making mistakes, I am still growing, Learning at every stage, But unfiltered. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror2023 Get READY,
Get Loud, Get however you please, Honor YOU, Love YOU, Indulge in the luxuries It is to be YOU, 24/7!!! ‘YOU do YOU’ Live it, Celebrate it, Rock it, Sing it, Be IT… Have fun for fucks SAKE! Get Silly, Get fired up, Get inspired, Get Happier, Get it! Get at it, Not later, NOW.. I love being me, Love Being YOU! Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror2023 Get smiling, Get laughing, Dress up for yourself, Go, GET at whatever perks you UP, Makes you feel more alive, But…. Do it Now. Fun time is NOW! Now, now, now.. Celebrate letting our Crazy, weird, quirky flag fly high! Truth isn't all love and light sprinkled with positive shit.
The truth can be life threatening, scary, devastating, Shocking, dark, twisted, bloody, messy and spiritually, Emotionally, mentally, and painful. Being called out, Calling ourselves out, Like reality, Is not rose colored glasses, Denial of what is really afoot, Kind of an ordeal… There’s no sugar coating, To downplay what is really happening, When we are faced with the truth, Of others, circumstances, consequences, And ourselves… Truth no matter how it is received, Confronted, put, Most of the time happens, Like a jolt, smack, shocking us awake, A realization, That we must, That we know we have; To accept, To deal with, To eventually figure it out, Maybe get some understanding, Maybe never getting any real closure, But in all actuality, The truth is something needed To experience, To gather, To sort through, To validate, To evaluate, To live, To carry, Or get rid of… The truth, The many truths we have lived through, Barely scraped by from, Are not, Soft, rosy, comfortable, or full blown magical comforting positive fairy dust.. Some positivity is good, But most is sugar coating bs, Instead of bearing what it means to be vulnerable, Rough, raw, the goods of a what brings Solidifying our foundations to build upon.. Being real, is not pretty, it’s not fun, It’s not light and fluffy, It’s fucking heavy! Not everything is love and light, A lot of it overlooks, Judges the negativity, And that there, causes more harm and toxicity, To one's being.. Let your truths out, No matter what anyone else says or thinks, Our darkness isn’t beautiful, Our overcoming some of them, or all of them, That’s when we find beauty, That’s when we can look back with Gratitude, positivity, But when we are in process, Bearing all the shattered glass, brokenness, Terror, grief, losses, exposing our wounds, Crimes against us, crimes of not our fault, Coming to the truth, the waves thrashing us, Or the memories and flashbacks to what we’ve blacked out, Flood back in, There’s no peachiness, in those truths being revealed, To us… Truth isn't all love and light sprinkled with positive shit, And that is the real truth, the reality of everyone, Living their lives the best they can, No one asks or begs for the shitty and fucking twisted truths We've experienced… Being part of the toxic love and light culture is a choice, To each their own, But I prefer to live without the sugar coating, Live my truths no matter how ugly and fucking messy it gets, However they arrive, land, Or I am swept up and away with, My resilience has been built from those truths… Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror2023 Those shitty truths, Brought back my humanity, Served me the wisdom, I carry with me, still. (WARNING; Some vulgar words in here, if you can't handle the blunt truth, I'd skip this post, all this is me calling myself out)
Can you count on yourself? Do you hold yourself accountable, For the way you do or don't do things, For the way you say one and do another, For the excuses and ignoring, Especially during difficult times, Can you follow through and hold yourself accountable? Is everyone really letting you down? Or is it perhaps us letting ourselves down, Tolerating being a doormat because you are that for someone else, Betraying yourself, staying silent, passive, accommodating Or overcompensating for someone else at the expense of yourself Taking on their burden as yours and yours alone to carry.… Do you enjoy misery? Do you enjoy being disrespectful to yourself? - It feels like we don’t matter, And most of the time we project that onto others, Instead of being accountable; For our thinking, suppressing, denying, Our forgetfulness. - For our own unwillingness to have boundaries, For our unwillingness to stand up and use our voice, Unwilling to change for some petty excuses, To stand and face ourselves and all these Default perceptions and beliefs, Holding ourselves back, It's not anyone else fault, It's our own… Own it, Accept it, Utilize it, We matter, Our needs, our wants, our desires, Our truths, our forward moving steps, Our delusions, our past baggage, Everything preventing us, Is within us, Which means all the resolutions lay dormant within us. To honor, To follow through with, To be uncomfortably honest, To revise what serves us, and What doesn’t, For our wellbeing… - I’m not inciting that we are fuck ups, I’m not inciting that we are damaged goods or broken, I'm not inciting us to mistreat or punish ourselves… I’m invoking your power To change by choice, By truth, by love, by light, by patience, By being willing to face yourself, To do the work inside, No one else knows any of this better than We do, because we are the ones living it. Don’t put up with being “Miserable” Because that’s normal or what you are used to, It's not okay, to dishonor yourself, And zap any ascension or happiness, To be present for your life, And TO GROW… - Living our life, As far as we have lived it, Took and built bravery, Took discomfort, Took heartache, Took and built respect, Took and built grace, Took ownership, Took and built experience, Took observing, Took Truth, Took gumption to fight, Took resilience after the devastation, Took You getting here, Building something you are Proud of, Took Strength, Took making mistakes, Figuring things out on our own,n NO matter what path got us here, That proved and proves, YOU matter… - Our Shit Matters! Our internal dialogue matters, Our inside complex processes, All we were, all we are, all we are to become, when we own our own crap, Meanwhile still living the life we have now, when we forgive ourselves, When and while we heal; Love, hold, let go, connect, live, Choose, redirect, unlearn, pave, change, Matters most for our survival transmuting into Us, Thriving… YOU matter, most to yourself, And that’s not selfish, That is loving yourself unconditionally And wholly… Honor yourself, Be accountable, Validate yourself, Empower yourself, To truly live YOUR life, To the fullest, DO the WORK, (it's not a say and talk about it in great lengths, to do nothing ordeal) Do the work, So you show up for yourself, THAT you do matter… - It’s a tedious journey, This so called life, Inside and outside, Of ourselves, But not holding yourself accountable for Your contributions, your participation, Your shit that perhaps you picked up and didn’t even Realize you act out, or talk to yourself like, Or treat yourself and others without noticing, That’s no one’s but ours… Prove your worth to yourself, Boost that self worth and confidence, So you know you can count on yourself, And that will ripple out and be reciprocated.. It will multiply the goodness, and quality of your life, More than 10 fold… - Stop weigh yourself down, Stop quieting your voice, Stop putting you aside, Start with just admitting, Journaling, secretly going to therapy, YOU don't have to do this alone, Its okay to reach out for help, And stop shaming yourself that you are less than a person, Because you need help to better navigate.. Love Yourself enough to get brave Follow through, to change that nasty narrative, To show up. And let changes and YOU reign, Because it is YOUR life to live.. Wanna get some relief, Do the work! Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror2023 Expand those pearly wings You behold. |
Writer:
I am originally from British Columbia Canada, but have lived in Iowa, USA, for most of my life. Mom of four, Married. Hello, I am Archives
May 2023
|
RSS Feed
