 I am so grateful for all the experiences
I’ve had up to this point where I am now. I am so very deeply grateful by the lives I’ve got to have shared in my life. I am so grateful for all the moments I got With loved ones, near and far, alive still or already gone. I am so grateful for all that I have within me, Within my heart, within my mind, within my soul. I am so deeply grateful for all that I can carry with me forward, That even during the critical and challenging moments, When it felt like a smothering heavy weight holding me down, Depressing me, grieving me, frustrating me, There was a silver lining within it all, There within every bit of heartbreak, pain, confusion, Proof, I can and will still rise. Caught ablaze because ‘LOVE,’ holds many treasures, Within all its variety. I am so grateful for everything, every plunge down, Whether it be through joy or sadness, Misjudging or understanding, hardship or triumph… I am so grateful for who I have within me, Within this body, this shell, containing so much strength, Courage and heart, to endure what I have and what I will. I am so grateful for all, who I’ve ever loved, all who I’ve Ever lost, who loves me, who I love, and those yet to meet… I am so grateful for how truth emanates through Moments of chaos, immense grief, immense joy, Intensely and subtly, surprising and lingers, When I sit back to observe, to allow all that to become as needs be, Another reflective, evolving, lesson, blessing, moment. I am so grateful for this and so much more, Thank you, Be Well, Be Blessed, Have grace, have faith, And love with all you’ve got. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror
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 The way we are,
Through every experience, When we allow ourselves To stay in each moment, To embrace each moment, Not expecting it to be any different Than what it is. Allows so much more to be liberated, Allows us to give wholeness to each piece, Allowing space to be given our full Invested awareness and attention. Through every which way, These waves of emotions, These heights of perception come, These illuminating rays show up, These twists of diversity, These opportunities of feeling Ourselves through, These transforming offers, To these ruptures of uncertainty... Carves new experiences, New ways to employ our senses & whole beings, Mind, body, heart and soul. To find our own ways, Our own new and most meaningful ways, To, through, from, emerge, live out, From scratch yet again, But not within a back stepping, Still in a forward fashion, No matter how we feel in that moment, No matter how regressed we feel it is. We are not who we were through its first experience of, We are who we are now, having had those experiences, Broke old molds, outgrown previously, coming and going, With eyes, minds, body’s, hearts, anew… Though it may feel an echo, Each moment, each experience, Each our new, new meaning we can change to shift it forward, However we choose to do within that time, that moment, That belief, that situation, that encompassing here, Face and ride it out beyond our defaults. Allowing to etch a unfamiliar aim, path, way, Transmuted by who we choose to be now, Presenting itself to be had, to get, to have, Lays itself open to and for us, For the taking, if we choose to let it be fully sensed, Fully experienced, fully welcomed, fully loved, fully appreciated And so will we sail into new seas, new lands, new worlds, new skies, Allowing to set ourselves adrift, As we flow, as we cascade, as we choose to claim, As we choose to loosen our reins, As we honor the moment, of our moments, in life... Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror Be Blessed, Be grace, Be embraced, Allow brilliance to unfurl, come to you, from you, Be given to this moment, let it cultivate you, evolve you...  I painted this....
Before I knew this was the day my dad would die and more written after he passed. I now see the blessed lesson in mask wearing to celebrate and encourage ourselves to be more than what we thought we could do; -- Originally written 1-22-2021-- This mask of strength I wear hides nothing, Though flamboyantly beautiful, Courageous as one can be, Our hearts of hearts, Instead of salt tears shed, To bear witness to our loved one suffering, My tears bleed through, As in hopes that every drop, As it cleanses my heart, May he also be cleansed of his infections, Of his heartaches, worries, regrets, fears. This mask he wears, This mask I wear, I felt it become more vibrant today, No longer a disguise, But knowing that all shows through anyhow. Not a cover to hide beneath or from, But a mask that allows me to courageously Be a mess, that makes pain and sorrow look more beautifully, Accepting, embraced, welcomed, expressed. Allowing the imperfection of smeared mascara, Still be gorgeous, still be okay, still reveal strength, Though these times are ever so discouraging. The pain he feels leaks from my eyes, Allowing myself to share in his burdens, I let myself breakdown, on his behalf, As I heal, maybe so will he… As most masks are worn to hide what lies beneath, This mask I wear, is to celebrate and announce, The beauty of being vulnerable, holding and sharing truths, Proving once again all the ranges of experience, Of being simply ‘Human.’ Exposing the rawness of my heart, Of our hearts, all at once which comes and goes… Sometimes as much as we try to prevent Such crumbles, our sorrows bleed. Our ability to handle things, We get overwhelmed, and we cry, From salts to blood, Always adjusting to what is at hand. This mask I wear, shares all I contain with, All that darkness really is, Is truly, lit from within, For when it surfaces, It’s meant to be freed. However I scream, howl, fret, release, Cry, let the pains no longer create shadows within me, But leave me, so I can heal, So I can grow forward after each presence appears… Letting myself hurt, be sad, be a mess, Shows my humanity, my well-being in however I am to bloom, from seed to wilt, to rebirth.. This mask of strength I wear hides nothing, That mask he wears truly hides nothing, Though seems to muster more courage as one can have, To bear all, Knowingly within uncertainty, To still be lit up enough to still grow, to still be able to face what is here, and to let go of to heal… Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror  Just painted, cried and listened to Elvis (Many Memories with ElvisMusic and my Dad).
I call this Dad's Ocean Wings, The hues of black resemble his sadness to not being ready to go yet, the hues of aqua and blues are the ocean waves, the skies above the mountains, and the hues of yellow and orange behind him are just as the British Columbia, sunsets can be, soft and sweet. In dedication to the picture doing one wing out and one wing tucked in; One wing out and the other cradling his own heart, My Dad. In dedication to the picture closer to his heart; not just like Kev's and I's heart, but my Dad's also, grieving to hug one more time, to share face to face smiles and laughter, to embrace one another, sadness of his drift in his lifetime and here now, this after too . Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror Estranged by time & distance,
Grief by timing & Distance, Two components restricted even more so by covid, We could not be there & soon enough, Dad left there alone, Surrounded by doctors and after they called me, Both Our hearts broke, And worse of all, Dad’s heart did too. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror I am so grateful to have my mom through this.
It hit really hard about and hour and half ago, My mom is truly wonderful we may sometimes not see eye to eye, and have to agree to disagree... But when I am a mess of emotions, crying, kind of grieving yelling 'I want my dad back!" She pulls me through it and helps me get to the other-side. The book I was reading today really helped me understand how we all grieve differently, and how darkness /pain can paint our memories or how we recall them, can be illusions of wounds beneath surfacing now, meanwhile experiencing the stages of grief. Helped me understand my mom when she lost her parents, which helped me understand my experience so much better. Everything is connecting, everything's coming up and out, and I know all too well, each piece shattered and scattered, is freeing. Even though right now, it doesn't exactly feel that way, My past proves to me, I can and will overcome this, my present is not my final destination... Ending this evening, that turns into AM, a wonderful close... Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror When I quiet my mind, as to meditate, I only see you, remembering our talks, and in the silence of picturing you, feeling your presence Dad, tears roll down my cheek, my voice and breathing whimper, All I have within me, says I miss you… Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror   I take care of my body,
My body takes care of me. The way I talk to myself, My body mirrors. The actions I take, What I believe, What I think, is mirrored, Mentally, emotionally, verbally, soulfully, emanates through, Even physically. I take care of my body, My body takes care of me, Remember all is mirrored upon each other, What we are around is absorbed, What we allow affects us, What we put up with, What we resist, What we tolerate, What aggravates us, What grudges we hold, What is suppressed, What is hidden, Can poison us, Inside out, outside in. To really honor ourselves, OUR BODIES, Self-love is imperative, Boundaries are imperative, Honesty is imperative, Kindness is imperative, Forgiveness is imperative, Listening/understanding ourselves is imperative. What we feed ourselves, What we give of ourselves, What we share, Needs and wants of us, All is mirrored, reflected within ourselves, All contributes, All is contained within our bodies. All can overwhelm, When we don’t choose to be mindful Of the affects every choice holds Immediate consequences, The toll, the cost, Our bodies, ourselves pay for it. Take care of your body, We take care of one another, Our bodies and ourselves, All at once... I take care of my body, My body takes care of me, This is my conscious, Wholehearted, invested choice, No more putting myself on the side burner, That too, takes quite a hefty toll. Choose Love, choose you, A hundred thousand times over & over. I care for you body, We care for one another, Let us have each other, For all time… Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror Thank you & Love you Body, whole self!!!!  ‘Writer I am, artist I am, mother I am,
Sister I am, wife I am,’ human I am, Woman I am is Beautiful. I know I am, however I am, however I choose, I create, whatever colors I paint, I write, I show, I emanate with, express, are of my soul. Built by who I was, Rebuilt by what I chose, Where I came from, Where I flew, Where I drifted, To learn from, to face, to heal, To be human, All connects, All is woven together, Built while I was waiting, Built by every in-between, In process, deconstructed, In relapses, in arising, While I do what I do, With what is here. I am built from all my yesterdays, No wishing anything was different, For who I am now, For who I am to become, Wouldn’t be who I am now, If anything, I mean anything, Was changed to be different than it was, Thank you yesterday. Glad after much repetition, I leapt from that hamster wheel, Into another, to only discover, There is so much more to life, Ablazing my own trail, With my own two feet, This body, these arms, This soul, within this mind, This adventure, this heart of mine, To learn from, grow through, Experience, coming undone, Unlearning, dealing with no 100% guarantee, Becoming only more and more expansive, More open to myself, to the world, More to share, more to live for, More to live, love, laugh, learn with. I am humbled by life, And all its turns, All its jumps, All its quakes, All its abundance, Always comes full circle, Then twists and runneth’s over, To transform its shape and qualities, Yet again, to begin, to rebirth, To become. Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror I am gratefully who I believe I am, And at any given moment, That I am free to change, I am free to carve, create, build to rebuild, Mine for the taking, cultivating, sharing, Giving, serving, wherever I decide to take me..  Sowing into my coming undone,
I allow this becoming, To unravel me, Disperse through me, Rattle me loose, Eradicate all that serves me no good. Though I feel weakened, I am only at the beginning of growing stronger, wiser, So into this moment, These moments sailing in, I invest what is intended for me to become. I willingly welcome, This unbecoming, As the toll is for me to simply transform, Into who I will be. After all is said and done, Is faced, worked through, I heal, and become something Better than all the yesterdays I thought, ‘Who I am was good enough,’ Again I am challenged to create, Morph, and be more than good enough… Sowing into this coming undone, I observe, I reflect, I choose to see beyond what has surfaced, having faith that as all becomes full circle, Who I will be, is who I need to be, for the next hurdles, Next lessons, next Blessings, Next path... This space within me, remains open and receptive, To all the goods here, coming and I know All will be restored, and everything always, As it grows, it gets better… Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror Not pushing against this, Rather allowing what’s happening, Rebuild my flow and rhythm.  Let me help, carry you through,
Let me carry myself through, Let me worry, letting you have peace, Let me be the one scared, holding your hand, Inspirit while we tackle uncertainty together. Let me uplift you, Let me grant you more positivity, Let me encourage more hope To rise within us, Let me inspire you, Let me be with you, The best I can from this distance. Let me remind me of your strength, Let me help refuel you, Let us begin to soar, Aid the healing, Aid the fight, Aid your heart, your health, May you let me, let yourself be… May you allow yourself to be cared for, May you not be too hard on yourself, Losing some independence while You have no choice but to heal, Let me care for you, with you, by your side, Let me aid your healing with faith, love, joy, Warming the fires inside both our hearts, To continually and steadily rise, Let me remind you of hope, Let me give you hope, Let me give you more of a fighting chance, Heart in heart, three fold, no matter what happens, We are stronger together, you are not alone, Together we are, all weathering these storms. I love you, You got this, we got this, We will get through this survival, Back to where we all so much better did Thrive. You will never be alone, Inspirit we are all facing things, Ever connected, always here, Even if its there, you and I are Forevermore a heartbeat, a blink, A prayer away...So we all shall rise! Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror Good days, bad moments, bad days with good moments, So shall we always rise, with whole heart hugs, exchanged soul to soul.  “Love & Joy within me,
Love and joy around me, Love and joy to those that are having a difficult time, Gathering those blessings. Clarity within me, Clarity around me, Clarity for those stumbling in the dark. Harmony within me, Harmony around me, Harmony Universally, no more division. Abundance of Good within me, Abundance of good around me, Abundance of good for all. Vibrant health within me, Vibrant health around me, Vibrant health for all humanity. Divine protection within me, Divine protection around me, Divine protection for all I love, For all who love me, and all I don’t know yet. Peace within me, Peace around me, Peace for all. All is well within me, All is well around me, All is well for this world, All is well, all continues to be well, And all stays well. Goodnight!” Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror |
Writer:
I am originally from British Columbia Canada, but have lived in Iowa, USA, for most of my life. Mom of four, Married. Hello, I am Archives
May 2023
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