Accountable

(WARNING; Some vulgar words in here, if you can't handle the blunt truth, I'd skip this post, all this is me calling myself out)

Can you count on yourself?
Do you hold yourself accountable,
For the way you do or don't do things,
For the way you say one and do another,
For the excuses and ignoring,
Especially during difficult times,
Can you follow through and hold yourself accountable?
Is everyone really letting you down?
Or is it perhaps us letting ourselves down,
Tolerating being a doormat because you are that for someone else,
Betraying yourself, staying silent, passive, accommodating
Or overcompensating for someone else at the expense of yourself 
Taking on their burden as yours and yours alone to carry.…
Do you enjoy misery?
Do you enjoy being disrespectful to yourself?
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It feels like we don’t matter,
And most of the time we project that onto others,
Instead of being accountable;
For our thinking, suppressing, denying,
Our forgetfulness.
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For our own unwillingness to have boundaries,
For our unwillingness to stand up and use our voice,
Unwilling to change for some petty excuses,
To stand and face ourselves and all these
Default perceptions and beliefs,
Holding ourselves back,
It's not anyone else fault,
It's our own…
Own it,
Accept it,
Utilize it,
We matter,
Our needs, our wants, our desires,
Our truths, our forward moving steps,
Our delusions, our past baggage,
Everything preventing us,
Is within us,
Which means all the resolutions lay dormant within us.
To honor,
To follow through with,
To be uncomfortably honest,
To revise what serves us, and
What doesn’t, 
For our wellbeing…
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I’m not inciting that we are fuck ups,
I’m not inciting that we are damaged goods or broken,
I'm not inciting us to mistreat or punish ourselves…
I’m invoking your power
To change by choice,
By truth, by love, by light, by patience,
By being willing to face yourself,
To do the work inside,
No one else knows any of this better than
We do, because we are the ones living it.
Don’t put up with being “Miserable”
Because that’s normal or what you are used to,
It's not okay, to dishonor yourself,
And zap any ascension or happiness,
To be present for your life,
And TO GROW…
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Living our life, 
As far as we have lived it,
Took and built  bravery,
Took discomfort,
Took heartache,
Took and built respect,
Took and built grace,
Took ownership,
Took and built experience,
Took observing,
Took Truth,
Took gumption to fight,
Took resilience after the devastation,
Took You getting here,
Building something you are Proud of,
Took Strength,
Took making mistakes,
Figuring things out on our own,n 
NO  matter what path got us here,
That proved and proves, YOU matter…
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Our Shit Matters!
Our internal dialogue matters,
Our inside complex processes,
All we were, all we are, all we are to become,
when we own our own crap, 
Meanwhile still living the life we have now,
when we forgive ourselves,
When and while we heal;
Love, hold, let go, connect, live,
Choose, redirect, unlearn, pave, change, 
Matters most for our survival transmuting into 

Us, Thriving…
YOU matter, most to yourself,

And that’s not selfish,
That is loving yourself unconditionally
And wholly…
Honor yourself,
Be accountable,
Validate yourself,
Empower yourself,
To truly live YOUR life,
To the fullest,
DO the WORK,
(it's not a say and talk about it in great lengths, to do nothing ordeal)
Do the work,
So you show up for yourself,
THAT you do matter…
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It’s a tedious journey,
This so called life,
Inside and outside,
Of ourselves,
But not holding yourself accountable for
Your contributions, your participation,
Your shit that perhaps you picked up and didn’t even
Realize you act out, or talk to yourself like,
Or treat yourself and others without noticing,
That’s no one’s but ours…
Prove your worth to yourself,
Boost that self worth and confidence,
So you know you can count on yourself,
And that will ripple out and be reciprocated..
It will multiply the goodness, and quality of your life,
More than 10 fold…
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Stop weigh yourself down,
Stop quieting your voice,
Stop putting you aside,
Start with just admitting,
Journaling, secretly going to therapy,
YOU don't have to do this alone,
Its okay to reach out for help,
And stop shaming yourself that you are less than a person,
Because you need help to better navigate..
Love Yourself enough to get brave
Follow through, to change that nasty narrative,
To show up. And let changes and YOU reign,
Because it is YOUR life to live..
Wanna get some relief,
Do the work!

Melissa Palmer © Evolving Mirror2023
Expand those pearly wings
You behold.